Title: I'm So Slick, I'll Fxxx Myself Year: 2025 Starring: Leana Lovings, Shay Sights Director: ??? Synopsis: After leading an intense aerobic workout, hot MILF Shay Sights goes into the bathroom to admire herself. The juice begins to flow before Shay collapses to the floor, and a beautiful, naked woman CRAWLS out of her back. - via Brazzers Lilith's Notes: This is a parody of The Substance Buy: Brazzers "Take care of yourselves, ladies." You'd have to be a fool not to realize that the premise of 2024’s The Substance isn't rife with porn possibilities. It's baked into its slippery DNA. An older lady former celebrity takes a potion and out pops her younger, flawless self. Of course one would want to hit that, ethical questions aside. Let’s pretend the viewer of this parody had never seen The Substance . If that’s the case, then what we’re watching is a confusing mess. What we are shown is an aging host of a fitness show (Played by Shay Sight...

Title:  Emmanuelle Year:  1974 Starring:  Sylvia Kristel, Daniel Sarky, Alain Cuny  Director:  Just Jaeckin Synopsis:  An employee at the French Embassy in Bangkok invites his wife to join him – and enjoy the benefits of their open marriage. - via Letterboxd.com Lilith's Notes:  Once more we dive into classics. Buy:  Amazon     "l knew then that a cascade is only beautiful if you can say so to the one you love." I realize it’s kind of arrogant to claim a deep dive into a franchise that has seven parts, not to mention countless unauthorized spin-offs, a video game, a reboot and two novels, while engaging in just the first film, the most recent remake, and listened to a possibly abridged version of one of the two novels. But, realistically, there’s only so many hours in a week and Kage and I aren’t getting any younger. So, while we admittedly dove into the shallower end of the experience, we did ultimately decide that since Emmanuelle is s...

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Title: Sacred Flesh Year: 2000 Starring: Sally Tremaine, Eileen Daly, Kristina Bill Director: Nigel Wingrove Synopsis: Taunted by visions of Mary Magdalene, who reveals the confessions of the younger nuns at the convent, the Mother Superior’s mind is filled with the violent, sexual acts of her fellow sisters. - via Letterboxd.com Lilith's Notes: The other Nigel Wingrove nunsploitation film. "Sexual purity is the apex of my spirituality." Currently, in my non-erotica-consumed life I am rewatching the show Community, because if there is a God, he abandoned us all and I need something that makes me laugh. I just watched the Christmas Musical episode in which Annie Edison (Allison Brie) dresses sexy and turns dumb. Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) points out, and I quote "look, eventually you hit the point of diminishing returns on sexiness." Well, if that doesn't perfectly describe Sacred Flesh. Mother Superior (Played by Sally Tremaine) is haunted by t...

Title: Lola and Maxie Get Off Year: 2019 Starring: Abigail Mac, Charlotte Stokely, Aidra Fox, Jay Smooth, Seth Gamble, Director: Skye Blue Synopsis: Lola and Maxie are two of the hottest dancers at their local strip club. But they get even hotter after they find themselves in jail together. Both are accused of killing their own husbands Jack and Joe and are desperate to do anything - and anyone to get out. When they discover that the circumstances of their husbands' murders give them perfect alibis, they lay it all on the line. Can Lola and Maxie get it on...to get off? - Via AdultEmpire.com Lilith's Notes: It was up for Best Feature Production for the 2020 Nightmoves Awards. "I'm innocent" Lola & Maxie Get Off is a Lynchian fever dream pretending to be a porno. This movie begins with a recommendation that viewers follow surgeon general guidelines of sex and that this movie is for entertainment and educational purposes. Is the educational goal...

Title: Behind the Green Door Year:  1972 Starring: Marilyn Chambers, Johnnie Keyes Director:  Artie Mitchell, Jim Mitchell Synopsis: Gloria is kidnapped and taken to a theater where she is told that she will have “the most exquisite moment of her life.” She shares many sexual and intimate experiences on a stage in front of a small masked audience that grows increasingly aroused as the performance progresses. - Via Letterboxd.com Lilith's Notes: So we meet again, nemesis of mine.   "Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness the ravishment of a woman who has been abducted." A while ago I was speaking with someone who is in their mid-20s and they said the original Ghostbusters does not hold up, and they couldn't even make it all the way through watching. But we all know it was revolutionary at its time. I think it's difficult some times to put ourselves in the mindset for something we were not there to experience first hand. I sit back and watch some classic...

Last October, we were in the midst of our Halloween Trick & Treat III when the world of internet porn was rocked by a seething, willfully obtuse Op-ed. With PornHub cleaning house, other tube sites following their lead, credit card companies shutting sex workers out, and the pandemic still going on, we became demoralized. That year, I promised a very special video, and we failed to see it through. Our final video was for Underworld . Halloween Trick & Treat III was left incomplete. This year, I am doing what I am able to make it up to you all. Instead of a review every 2 weeks, we will be posting a review every single Tuesday for the month of October, and will conclude with a very special Double Feature. Be sure to follow us on Twitter and Instagram if you want to be notified as soon as possible. Now, without further ado, Lilith Likes to Watch proudly presents Halloween Trick & Treat IV!   Title: The Summoning Year: 2019 Starring: Abigail Mac, Romi Rain, Seth...

Title:  Fantasex Year:  1976 Starring:  Jeffrey Hurst, Terri Hall, Jennifer Jordan Director:  Roberta Findlay, Cecil Howard Synopsis:   A shy, sex-obsessed young man and a plain young woman both work for a publisher of dirty books. When they get tired of being pushed around at work, they turn to violence against their employer and his secretary to get revenge. - Via IMDB. Lilith's Notes:   It was co-directed by a woman director and features Terri Hall. "My whole body shook as I emptied my cargo."   Bernard, played by Jeffrey Hurst, is a nebbish editor or slush-reader at a publisher of dirty novels. He secretly crushes on his co-worker Jane, played by Terri Hall. He's pushed around by his boss, and at home he endures and overbearing mother. His only escape are the dark, sexual fantasies in his mind.    I picked this because, hey, I like dirty books. I read dirty books. I write dirty books. This plot could be fun. The protagonist ...

WELCOME TO HALLOWEEN TRICK & TREAT. AND BOY DO I HAVE A TRICK OR 3 FOR YOU. Fuck it. Let's get weird with it! Boredom is a special kind of Hell. Boredom is soul-draining. Boredom is uninspiring. Boredom is a form of evil time-travel. You travel very, very slowly. When I started this blog roughly a year ago, I was in a very different personal place than I am now. There aren't enough hours in the week anymore and I am loathe to give the effort of writing a post about something that out and out bores me. I've always said, the worst thing you can do other than be viscerally disgusting, is to bore me. Don't fucking bore me. Make me angry. Make me roll my eyes. Just don't fucking bore me. I watched three pornos in search of this week's Halloween Trick and Treat. On their own, none of them gave me enough to work with. So, let's just delve in to all three of them. Title:  Dracula Sucks Year:  1978 Starring:  Annette Haven, Jamie Gillis, John Le...

Title:  We Are The Flesh Year:  2016 Starring:  Noé Hernández, María Evoli, Diego Gamaliel Director:  Emiliano Rocha Minter Synopsis:   A young brother and sister, roaming an apocalyptic city, take refuge in the dilapidated lair of a strange hermit. He puts them to work building a bizarre cavernous structure, where he acts out his insane and depraved fantasies. Trapped in this maddening womb-like world under his malign influence, they find themselves sinking into the realms of dark and forbidden behaviour. - Via Amazon Lilith's Notes:  Fuck this movie. Welcome to the second annual Halloween Trick & Treat!  All through October, Lilith wanders through the horrific and the horny to find some of the best and unfortunately some of the worst of Halloween themed porno. When I was a child, I really, really liked escargot. It was delicious. We were at a restaurant for my 8th or 9th birthday and my mom offered me one of her escargots. I took it, po...

Title:  The Autobiography of a Flea Year:  1976 Starring:  Jean Jennings, John Holmes, Paul Thomas, Annette Haven, Joanna Hilden, Kinta (As Belle's dog) Director:  Sharon McNight Synopsis:  In 1810, a flea narrates the story of its host, an innocent girl abused and corrupted by an evil lusty priest in league with her vile old uncle and several other wicked men. - Via IMDB Lilith's Notes:  It's the first erotic film directed by a woman. "Spunk!" Welcome to the first ever Lilith Likes to Watch Deep Dive! Where in we not only watch the porno, but also consume material adjacent to it, be they novels, biographies, interviews or other reviews. This week we review The Autobiography of a Flea . I discovered this film because, basically I just read over Jean Jennings' IMDB page and saw the title. It was an unusual title so I investigated further. Not only did it have a strange title but it was based on a novel that's over 100 years old and it was the fi...

Title:  Necromania: A Tale of Weird Love Year:  1971 Starring:  Maria Arnold, Rene Bond, Ric Lutze Director:  Ed Wood Synopsis:  A couple having marital problems (the husband can't seem to rise to the occasion) visits Madame Heles, a necromancer, in hopes of ameliorating their boudoir blunders. - Via IMDB Lilith's Notes:  It was directed by Ed Wood. Yes, that Ed Wood. When I saw that this was directed by Ed Wood Jr. I thought that was a pseudonym. Like the porn actress Tyra Banxxx, or the oh-so-clever named porn parodies like Game of Bones . Sort of "You know that director Ed Wood? Well, I'm gonna be Ed Wood JUNIOR!". I had no idea that was his real full name. I don't have any love for Ed Wood, I don't think I've ever sat through Plan 9 From Outer Space . I don't find bad movies fun or funny unless I'm with a group of friends and armed with alcohol. I've never seen any of his other films and so I'm not familiar with the tra...

Title:  Wet Wilderness Year:  1976 Starring:  Daymon Gerard, Alice Hammer, Raymond North, Faye Little Director:  Lee Cooper Synopsis:  A machete killer attacks a picnic party but can the mother stop his rampage? - Via IMDB Lilith's Notes:  It's purely here for Halloween viewing. Wet Wilderness  is one huge waste of time. I love me a good rapist-murderer sleezefest but this was rife with horrible dubbing, pointless characters, terrible shifts from scenes to scenes and really, really atrocious acting. Look, you're being held at machete-point by a killer wearing a knock-off, bargain bin Deadpool mask. You can at least pretend to be a little bit scared. The only time anyone is scared, it's the mother, as she's raped in front of her (I assume are supposed to be) teenage children who are fucking one another. Good job at staying in character. Then, the son and mother are forced to fuck and they really, genuinely seem to be enjoying themselv...