Sunday, December 16, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - The Passions of Carol

Title: The Passions of Carol
Year: 1975
Starring: Mary Stuart, Kim Pope, Jamie Gillis
Director: Shaun Costello
Synopsis: X-rated adaptation of A Christmas Carol
Why it is Notable: The very first hard core XXX adult film to open in a straight theater.

"I know your purpose is to do me good."

T'is the season, and it's harder than you'd think to find Christmas themed porno. So, since we're not spoiled for choice I decided to go with The Passions of Carol, a porno adaptation of  A Christmas Carol.

At first I thought this film understood me. It opened with Carol of the Bells, which is, without question, my favourite Christmas song. It came with a good concept: Carol Scrooge is the owner of a lady's porno magazine and she's too, well, bitchy, for Christmas. Or something. It's not immediately obvious and the conceit of this movie is rather unclear.

A man auditions to be in Carol's magazine and Carol and her secretary fuck him for 15 minutes in a terrible scene that's lit so poorly that the shadows cast on everyone's genitals look like censor bars. It's scored by the theme to the Exorcist, one blowjob is filmed with this awkward from-below angle so the scene actually looks like it's upside down, then it smash-cuts to another scene entirely.

Then it comes back to the audition/threesome. The music goes from Exorcist to something with child-like whimsy, then back to Exorcist.

The worst part? 15 minutes into this 75 minute movie and not one spirit!

The acting in the first part of the film is terrible, but things pick up once the spirits finally start arriving.

Lance Marley pays Carol a visit and warns her that three spirits will come to visit her. Then they fuck while an instrumental rendition of Santa Claus is Coming to Town plays.

The Ghost of Christmas Past comes and the poor man seemed to have thought he was in an actual version of A Christmas Carol. He brought all his gravitas and acting chops to the role. Luckily he elevated the scene.

In the past, Carol witnesses a moment where she manipulated two of her young friends to get naked and touch each other. Bizarrely, this is where Mary Stuart's own acting gets better. Apparently she was born to play a petulant, black mailing adolescent.

The three "kids" fuck, with the aid of a doll's arm, then Carol learns that her two friends grew up, fell in love and are now happily married. All thanks to her?

The Ghost of Christmas Present, fabulous drag performer, takes Carol to the "Hatchet" home where she watches her employee Bob Hatchet and his wife fuck. Mrs. Hatchet has really nice thighs. Carol learns that they're happy despite having little time and money. I think?

As an aside, their child is Tiny Kim and we never see her on screen but I like that idea and think it's cute. In the past, three "kids" who were obviously meant to be under 10 years old fucked. If you're gonna go there, movie, go there! You've already crossed that line. Have Tiny Kim receive a nice finger bang or muff dive or something to make her feel good. Maybe since her legs are lame, she can give Bob Hatchet a foot-job as 'exercise'.

Wasted opportunity.

Finally, The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come appears and I'm sad to say that Carol does not fuck him. Yet to Come is my favorite spirit. It's my aesthetic. He at least deserved a blowjob. But no, he gets nothing. In fact, the only spirit she fucks is Marley, who has to beg for it.

So many wasted opportunities.

Despite that, Yet to Come takes Carol to the future where she's an anorexic, wig-wearing, 20 bucks a fuck hooker in garish makeup and armed with too-big condoms.

During this scene there's no music. All you hear is the loudest, sloppiest, rudest slurping sounds and I wonder if that was done on purpose to heighten the discomfort and possible disgust for the scene.

Anyway, Carol wakes up and decides that from now on she'll be nice to everybody and I don't understand! What did Carol learn? She didn't start out the movie a prude or anything. This movie basically starts with a casting couch threesome which Carol took part in! I don't understand how working hard and shrewdly now makes her a hooker in the future. What does this have to do with Christmas? What? Why? How?!

There is some mildly interesting stuff here, and plenty of potential. If anything, this movie would be a good candidate for a remake.


NEXT TIME: We watch people on display in Cafe Flesh.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - The Autobiography of a Flea

Title: The Autobiography of a Flea
Year: 1976
Starring: Jean Jennings, John Holmes, Paul Thomas, Annette Haven, Joanna Hilden, Kinta (As Belle's dog)
Director: Sharon McNight
Synopsis: In 1810, a flea narrates the story of its host, an innocent girl abused and corrupted by an evil lusty priest in league with her vile old uncle and several other wicked men. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's the first erotic film directed by a woman.


Welcome to the first ever Lilith Likes to Watch Deep Dive! Where in we not only watch the porno, but also consume material adjacent to it, be they novels, biographies, interviews or other reviews. This week we review The Autobiography of a Flea.

I discovered this film because, basically I just read over Jean Jennings' IMDB page and saw the title. It was an unusual title so I investigated further. Not only did it have a strange title but it was based on a novel that's over 100 years old and it was the first porno to be directed by a woman. Clearly it deserved more attention than a typical Lilith Likes to Watch review..

So, I watched the movie, then I read the book.

For the age it is, the movie is fairly pretty, with attention to costuming and sets and locations. There is some inventive shot composition and in one or two scenes, some good use of lighting. But, the film itself is so battered it's hard to appreciate. This would do well with a remastering, if only to give some respect to the costumes. I wonder if that's due to the fact that this film was made through a woman's eye.

The acting is fine, though the narration by the flea is very distracting. His voice doesn't suit a flea at all. Not that I was expecting something squeaky and tiny but something a little less, I don't know, mature, maybe?

Jean Jennings is pretty good as Belle, the curious object of lust for so many boys and men. She has a physicality that plays on youthfulness. When she's drinking whine she's all giggles and sway, and as she becomes more familiar in the ways of sex, she has subtle ways to get her seductions across. There's a fun instance where, while trying to seduce her best friend's father, she runs her fingers along the length of her closed ivory fan, a subtle gesture that was much appreciated.

Then again, often during the actual sex she becomes a bobble-head that gulps her mouth like a fish.

The sex was good. It was actual penetrative sex for the most part, with some small instances of cunnilingus and fingering. No one was afraid of, or turned away by a pussy. I had wished for some lesbian scenes but was left denied. They weren't in the book, either.

The book by the way, was garbage. It was a mashed up repetitive word salad that I had to force myself to finish. Everyone fucks Bella (Belle in the movie, Bella in the book,) and it's an ongoing cycle of "Oh what's that? Oh it's a dick! Oh it's huge! Oh it hurts! Oh it feels good! Oh what is that warmth in me? Oh it's spunk! Oh such spunk!" Over and over and over.

Each new man Bella encounters, his dick is bigger, there's more "spunk", yes really, spunk, and she's filled to overflowing but never has to bathe. She's stretched out to accommodate every man that enters her but each and every time she complains about how much pain she is in, until it dissolves into pleasure.

He comes in a torrent, she comes like she's pissing everywhere, the word "emissions" is used, then they drink wine.

About the time I reached chapter 7 I attempted to reignite my interest in the story by looking at it as a tale about a girl who is groomed by predators, enjoyed, discarded, and used to lure other girls into the clutches of the priests who violated her, but Bella was just too evil a co-conspirator for that reading to work.

Then, in the last chapter, the author uses the word "Clitoris" 6 times. It was as if after chapter 11, the author learned the word and, like an excited child, used it as much as he could.

That's my first theory about this book. My second theory is that the author, Edward Avery, was in a very boring, very god-fearing marriage where he and his wife only fuck missionary and she never had an orgasm, therefore he did not know that typically, girls don't piss when they climax.

Finally, the book gave me the most disgusting sentence I've read in a long time. I'm going to share it with you now.
"Pain at the distension had now given way to pleasure, and young and elastic flesh opened to receive the column of gristle"
- The Autobiography of a Flea, Chapter IX
That is not sexy. That is the least sexy thing I've ever read. I almost gave up at that point but I had obligations to you, the reader of this blog.

The fact that Sharon McNight was able to take this dull, redundant, crude garbage mostly verbatim and make something relativity pretty out of it is an accomplishment in and of itself.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5 - It's fine. Book score: 1/5. It was a terrible book.

NEXT TIME: T'is the season! Our next film is the Christmas themed The Passions of Carol.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - SexWorld

Title: SexWorld
Year: 1978
Starring:  Lesllie Bovee, Kent Hall, Kay Parker, Desiree West, Annette Haven, John Leslie.
Director: Anthony Spinelli
Synopsis: A bus tour takes its passengers to a place called SexWorld where they can live out their most secret desires during a weekend. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Porn debut of Kay Parker. Has a theme song which helped it win Best Musical Score at the '79 AFAA.

"SexWorld! Do what you will. SexWorld! Come have your fill..."

Ah, fantasies. We all have them, whether or not we indulge them. SexWorld is an interesting experience because while watching it, you can't help but ask yourself, "What would my SexWorld be?" Such a rare thing, a porno that makes the viewer think.

SexWorld is an obvious riff on the original 1973 film Westworld. Several vacationers, with their own reasons, hop aboard a bus to the titular SexWorld, where every fantasy is catered to. Hidden away from the guests is a control room where a cadre of scientists assess, organize, and make those fantasies a reality. From consensual non-consent, to threesomes, to re-enacting scenes from more famous films, SexWorld aims to scratch any itch.

All of the scenes are set nicely, or made purposefully tacky and audacious. The SexWorld employees and guests pay lip-service to the more taboo fantasies people hold, like incest, while not exactly exploring them on screen.

We follow several guests through their SexWorld experience. A couple with intimacy issues, a painter who's married but pines for the woman in her paintings, a racist who secretly wants to get with a black woman, a woman who wants it rough, and a few others.

It's a surprisingly frank movie, with no-frills depictions of phone sex and mutual masturbation, and it pokes at power dynamics between a racist and a seductive black woman who manages to take his poorly chosen words in stride while seducing him, while somehow not debasing herself. Even in scenes I didn't care for, or the personal psychodramas that were playing out onscreen, the sex scenes were quite exceptional and honest. There were some particularly enjoyable lesbian scenes and a fun, hot threesome.

Though it's a land of fantasy, SexWorld does have its rules. Guests are not supposed to talk about their fantasy sessions with their spouses or significant others, and guests are to go to their sessions alone.

Two of the guests are a couple who have fallen out of passion for each other. Her fantasy is to be raped. She's taken to a room and is smacked around and forcefully fucked by a man. However, her husband goes looking for her and sees her through a two-way mirror and watches her session, completely breaking the rules. Even the employees of SexWorld point out that he's not supposed to be there.

Here's the thing: I like me some good voyeurism. I do like to watch, after all. That's more than just a title for a blog. But the wife was sure her husband wasn't there and that he would never know what she wanted. She felt safe and secure exploring her fetishes. He wasn't supposed to be there and he wasn't supposed to see that. I don't care if it's "what he needed". She didn't consent to sharing this with him. It was a breach of boundaries and a literal breaking of the rules. It set a bad taste in my mouth and I didn't like it.

Speaking of liking to watch, before Lilith Likes to Watch was even a concept, I did watch porno, and I did like it. Most of it.

One I absolutely did not like was Behind the Green Door which is widely considered a classic porno. I hated it. It was too up it's own ass, too repetitive, and just boring. So when one of the guests of SexWorld, Lisa, wanted to re-enacted a scene from Behind the Green Door I groaned and looked at the screen askance. First the spying husband, now this?

To my surprise, the scene was really well done. A man walks in, dressed like the African Stud from Green Door (turns out it's the actual actor, Johnnie Keyes reprising the role), and they fuck. It doesn't overstay its welcome, it doesn't resort to cheesy psychedelia, nothing. And Lisa has some impressive skills and grace with her tongue. It was a better version of Behind the Green Door than Behind the Green Door!

In the end, it's time for everyone to go home, having learned something about themselves or received something they deeply desired or required. Once the guests board the bus to return to reality, everyone in the control booth freezes except for one scientist. Was this her own personal fantasy? To rule over SexWorld as a God? Or was it just another day on the job?

In closing, I'd like to ask again: What would your personal SexWorld be? Would yours even be possible? Mine would probably involve certain creatures of myth and maybe also gas masks. And plague doctor masks. Plague doctor masks everywhere. And fancy hats.

Because that's my aesthetic.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3.5/5 - A bit better than fine.

NEXT TIME: We jump over to The Autobiography of a Flea.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Virgin Dreams

Title: Virgin Dreams
Year: 1976
Starring: Jean Jennings, Gloria Leonard, Wade Nichols, Zebedy Colt
Director: Zebedy Colt
Synopsis: This is the story of Nancy, a young girl who is sexually repressed. When her boyfriend proposes, Nancy is delighted. She begins to have erotic dreams. Nancy is dreaming of her parents taunting her - making love in front of her. Her father encourages her boyfriend to try and "open her up", without going all the way.
- Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's another Zebedy Colt film.

"We are going to do something to offend you..."
Depending on your ability to retain information, you might remember we've played in the world of Zebedy Colt before with The Devil Inside Her, which became one of the highlights of the Halloween Trick & Treat series.

Nancy is a young, pent up, frigid girl who loves Danny. When Danny proposes marriage, nightmares of sex begin to plague Nancy while she sleeps.

The use of visual metaphor is impressive in this movie, with flowers substituting as cocks instead of vaginas. That may be a thing, but it's not one I've ever seen before.

The dream-like imagery goes far in upping the quality of this film. At times I was wondering if  Jean Jennings' disinterest added to the dreaminess of the film or not. Sometimes yes, like when she watches her mother dominate her father in a dream, and sometimes no. Especially not so during a scene by a motorcycle. The overdubbing didn't help that scene either. She sounded far more enthusiastic than she looked, dead-eyed and on all fours.

Speaking of casting, that was my main problem with the film. The two main leads are Danny and Nancy. These are high-schooler names. Obviously I don't mind if you have a 27 year old playing a supposed teen in porn, of course, but have both actors look roughly the same age at least! Danny looks old enough to be Nancy's father. It was a very weird and somewhat annoying disconnect.

But Virgin Dreams has an interesting premise, story, and some fun editing and sound techniques that heighten the dreamy atmosphere. There's a dream sequence where Nancy's father keeps snapping a flogger and with each crack, the people hard cut into different poses, states of undress, and sexual positions. There's a scene where a sleepwalking Nancy dreams of a cacophonous orgy, but in real life she's sucking off Danny. The scenes cut between a screaming loud orgy to a private blowjob so quiet you can hear the furniture creak. It's artful in how disorienting it is.

The orgy itself is well done. It was an especially fresh breath of air after the roll-and-tumble nothing orgy of The Italian Stallion. It was choreographed well and there are some interesting positions. One woman was wearing a snake belt around her hips that I happen to own. It was my grandmother's. So that's fun.

On the note of costuming, I absolutely adore Nancy's sheer blue sleeping dress. It hides nothing but isn't so lewd as some other naughty costumes I've seen in 70's porn. It's breezy and a pretty colour. It evokes memories of Wendy Darling from Disney's Peter Pan.

Finally Nancy wakes up from her dream orgy, cured of her fears, then Danny and she have pre-marital indoor-pool sex.

Points for the dreaminess and the inventive metaphors, and costuming. Points knocked off for the questionable choice of actors. I didn't love it as much as The Devil Inside Her but I feel it needs to be seen by more people. You can watch the whole thing by clicking below.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3.5/5 - It's a bit better than fine.  

NEXT TIME: Hop aboard the bus to Sex World.

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - The Italian Stallion AKA The Party at Kitty and Stud's

Title: The Italian Stallion
Year: 1970/1978
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Henrietta Holm, Jodi Van Prang
Director: Morton M. Lewis
Synopsis: Kitty and Stud are lovers. They enjoy a robust sex-life, which includes fellatio and light S&M, specifically, Stud belt-whipping Kitty. Three women come over for a party and Stud services them, one after the other. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It was one of Sylvester Stallone's first acting gigs.

So, here we are. The Party at Kitty and Studs, or, otherwise known as the infamous Italian Stallion, one of Sylvester Stallone's first film roles. He was paid $200. And it's my obligation to inform you that it is the cheesiest porno to be featured on Lilith Likes to Watch thus far.

Down to the weird green paisley wallpaper that matches the bed sheets, and the random voice over from Kitty's point of view, and the corny quazi-rip-off of Rocky's score, I don't know what to make of this movie.

There's an awkward bathing scene, full of forced smiles and clumsy breast rubbing.

There's an extended scene where "Stud" admires his muscles in front of a mirror but also in the background reflection, two girls are writhing around on his bed. He reaches out and mimes touching the two girls without actually touching them. Pointless camera tricks trying to be artsy I suppose.

Or so I thought!

When Stud goes to sit on the bed, the girls aren't there. Then Stud looks at himself in the mirror again and they're back on the bed. The camera zooms in, then back out, and the girls are once again gone.

Maybe this is art?

Or bad editing. This is, after all, the re-edited version of the film, made after Stallone became a star thanks to Rocky. Things are bound to slip through the cracks.

Things like a coherent story. Rocky- I mean, Stud, goes outside and sees a woman flash him. He gets mad that he didn't fuck her so he punches a window and cuts his hand. Kitty licks the blood, then they wash his hand. Then they move on to a blowjob.

"I'll be velvet-mouthed upon your shank of love." That's how the blowjob scene starts. Apparently she bit him, he slaps her, she punches him, and he takes a belt and whips her. It's a very confusing scene because I genuinely can't tell if anyone's into it. I don't think so? But I don't know.

They decide to get high, then the scene cuts to a party, and the best thing in this whole movie, a black woman dancing like she does not give a fuck.

The party guests roll around. Then they roll around some more. Then they roll around on the carpet for 20 minutes more in front of a fun-house mirror and a guy eats a banana while getting head and talking about a chick fucking a horse.

Then everyone gropes and rolls around on the carpet even more. No penetration, no money shots, even the blowjobs are off-screen. It is the softest of cores.


Ok, not really. But three women do hold their arms out akimbo and side-shuffle, trance-like, across the room. Then everyone joins hands and prances in a circle in the least erotic game of Ring Around The Rosie you've ever seen.

Then everyone except for Stud and Kitty passes out. I like to think they tricked all their friends into a demonic ceremony that ended in human sacrifice.

Then Kitty hits Stud and Stud hits Kitty. THE END.

Look, there's a lot of myth around Stallone. How he sold his dog, then bought him back when Rocky was a hit, how he was homeless and starving. They played up the whole underdog story to get butts in seats. One such story, is that allegedly, the owner of the film told Stallone to pay him $100,000 in exchange for the film never seeing release to the public. Stallone replied "I wouldn't buy it back for 2 bucks."

If he doesn't care, neither should you.


NEXT TIME: We return to the work of Zebedy Colt with Virgin Dreams.

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Caligula

Title: Caligula
Year: 1979
Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole, Helen Mirren, Teresa Ann Savoy
Director: Tinto Brass, Giancarlo Lui, Bob Guccione
Synopsis: Details the graphic and shocking, yet undeniably tragic story of Rome's most infamous Caesar, Gaius Germanicus Caligula. -via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Big budget film conceived by the founder of Penthouse Magazine. Banned in several countries.
NOTE: My copy ran 2 hours and 35 minutes.

This is a toughy.

I had seen this movie before years and years ago, on the basis that, at the time A Clockwork Orange was one of my favourite movies. That first time, I was full of booze. Thus I barely remember any of it. This second watching, I was considerably more sober.

You have to admire the work that went into this movie. The sets and costumes are amazing. The acting is pretty top-notch for what it is, and the cast have great chemistry with one another.

There's quick sequence involving a goblet where Tiberius, sick and bearing sores from some STD, offers Caligula a drink. Peter O'Toole is so quick and oddly slick that it's a very fun 10 seconds of film.

The loving and sexual relationship between Caligula and his sister Drusilla is very well crafted. They appear to genuinely love each other, despite the blood relation.

Yet the film is over-long, and the pacing is weird. We never really get a sense of Caesonia's --Helen Mirren's character-- feelings toward Caligula, her husband. Does she love him? Does she love his power? Does she only want the throne for herself? She doesn't show any dislike toward Caligula and never actively plots against him but we're told Caesonia is bad news and would make a terrible wife, but she's dutiful and encouraging through the entire movie. If she has dissent, she keeps quiet about it.

There's some inventive sex, including a push-peddle powered cunnilingus device and enjoyable lesbian scenes, as well as coy simulated sex. The simulated sex is much more well done than other movies I've recently watched and reviewed. It's a pet peeve I didn't know I had until recently. This blog is a journey of self-discovery, apparently. The orgy scenes both drag on too long but also end too quickly. It's difficult to explain, and very vexing.

There's a scene where Caligula orders the senator's wives and daughters to be fucked in a brothel aboard a boat (which, at the time was the most expensive prop ever built for any film.). None of the woman are bothered by this. They're not arguing, they're not shy, they're not weeping. They all willingly, enthusiastically submit to be whores while their husbands stand by and chat among themselves of how Caligula has gone too far this time!

It zooms through the last 25 minutes, which is strange because it kept a fairly good pace the first half of the film.

Overall, Caligula is a pretty, expensive, over-long movie that's shorter than I remember when I first watched it. I understand why it's a cult-classic and you have to respect it for the guts and hubris it took to make this film. Whatever it is, it's undeniably art.

LILITH'S SCORE: 4/5 - Really good. Watch it.

NEXT TIME: We continue this trend of known names staring porn with Party at Kitty and Stud's AKA The Italian Stallion.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Finale!

Title: The Devil Inside Her
Year: 1977
Starring: Jody Maxwell, Terri Hall, Dean Tait, Zebedy Colt, Rod DuMont
Director: Zebedy Colt
Synopsis: A woman sells her soul to the devil to obtain the man she loves. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Well known in grindhouse and horror circles.
Watch it now: XHamster

Sometimes I fear I expect too much out of porn. I hold all my entertainment to a certain standard. If it's in film, that standard is believable acting, and a good plot. Even in porn. Porn has the extra burden of requiring enjoyable, erotic sex scenes as well. It makes me feel like a weirdo.

But then, a porno like The Devil Inside Her will come along and assures me that it's okay to expect, nay, demand these things from porno.

The Devil Inside Her involves two sisters, Faith and Hope in the mid- 1800s who love the same man. Their father is extremely puritan and forbids their daughters from loving anyone and punishes Faith by whipping her for just kissing the boy.

Meanwhile, Hope, in a fit of jealousy, sells her soul to the Devil and acquires a love potion from a witch. Then the Devil goes around, magically transforming into other characters and fucking everybody.

And it's compelling as hell.

There's an especially amazing scene where Hope, in the midst of an emotional and mental breakdown, begs for the boy's cock while fucking herself with vegetables and fruits. I know the way I describe it makes it sound silly but the actress comes across as on the brink of emotional collapse, desperate for the object of her unrequited love and tumbleing into madness. Her hands and legs are covered in soil as she grips at her inner thighs in need.

Meanwhile, other actors who were previously playing pious, virtuous girls or stoic, doting parents now have to pretend to be the Devil pretending to be them, and so they have to contort their tongues, harden and madden their gaze, and give themselves Cheshire grins.

It all devolves into an orgy that invoked memories of Behind The Green Door but not as full of itself, and therefore enjoyable.

The costumes are bad. Characters wear denim, which wasn't around in the 1800's, and The Devil looks like a rejected member of KISS but it's all easily overlooked because of the plot and performances.

This is honestly one of the best pornos I have ever watched. Definitely a Halloween Treat!

LILITH'S SCORE: 4/5 - Really good, watch it.

So there we have it, the inaugural Lilith Likes To Watch: Halloween Trick & Treat! What do you think of the films selected? What should Lilith watch next year? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or on Twitter @BWMTweet.

Thank you all for joining me with my tricks and my treats.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 4

Title: Necromania: A Tale of Weird Love
Year: 1971
Starring: Maria Arnold, Rene Bond, Ric Lutze
Director: Ed Wood
Synopsis: A couple having marital problems (the husband can't seem to rise to the occasion) visits Madame Heles, a necromancer, in hopes of ameliorating their boudoir blunders. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It was directed by Ed Wood. Yes, that Ed Wood.

When I saw that this was directed by Ed Wood Jr. I thought that was a pseudonym. Like the porn actress Tyra Banxxx, or the oh-so-clever named porn parodies like Game of Bones. Sort of "You know that director Ed Wood? Well, I'm gonna be Ed Wood JUNIOR!". I had no idea that was his real full name.

I don't have any love for Ed Wood, I don't think I've ever sat through Plan 9 From Outer Space. I don't find bad movies fun or funny unless I'm with a group of friends and armed with alcohol. I've never seen any of his other films and so I'm not familiar with the trappings of an Ed Wood movie.

Given that, I can take Necromania on it's own.

It's boring and everyone's an asshole. Good night everybody!

No, no, I kid. A little.

It is boring, it's filled with that same faux-lesbian bull-crap that annoys me so much. Obviously if certain acts make the actors uncomfortable, they shouldn't be forced to perform them but if you want to get around it, go for creative obfuscation and mystery. Maybe a heavy make-out session while hands are off-screen or something. You know, movie magic!

There were two small fun scenes. One was a magic ritual in which a woman makes a human skull kiss her nipples. I was disappointed she didn't grind herself against the skull.

The second was coffin sex. The coffin sex was way, way too short and felt like it was meant to include a minsky pickup song cue.

The thing is, other than the atrocious acting, Necromania isn't inept or anything. Probably because it was one of Wood's last films so he knew what he was doing by then. The lack of ineptitude probably heightened the dullness of the film. It barely tantalizes and doesn't go near crazy enough with it's premise. Despite the title, there's nothing weird about this.

Maybe if you're a big Ed Wood fan or really love old porn or camp you might get something out of it, but otherwise it's a Halloween Trick.

LILITH'S SCORE: 1/5 - Skip It

Monday, October 29, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 3

Title: Wet Wilderness
Year: 1976
Starring: Daymon Gerard, Alice Hammer, Raymond North, Faye Little
Director: Lee Cooper
Synopsis: A machete killer attacks a picnic party but can the mother stop his rampage? - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's purely here for Halloween viewing.

Wet Wilderness is one huge waste of time.

I love me a good rapist-murderer sleezefest but this was rife with horrible dubbing, pointless characters, terrible shifts from scenes to scenes and really, really atrocious acting.

Look, you're being held at machete-point by a killer wearing a knock-off, bargain bin Deadpool mask. You can at least pretend to be a little bit scared.

The only time anyone is scared, it's the mother, as she's raped in front of her (I assume are supposed to be) teenage children who are fucking one another. Good job at staying in character.

Then, the son and mother are forced to fuck and they really, genuinely seem to be enjoying themselves. At least someone here is. It was enough to almost make me bump the score up half a star. Almost.

After the son fucks his mother, the son is not killed. In fact, he's simply dropped from the film entirely. We never see him again and no one comments on him ever existing. Object permanence is not a concept these people can grasp.

Sometimes the killer's is wearing a completely different mask and speaking with a completely different voice. Someone clearly couldn't make it for all the days of filming.

The copy I watched had music from Psycho and Jaws in it. This is a mistake. Never remind your audience of a better movie.

The film ends in a poorly shot disappointment.

Wet Wilderness is a Halloween Trick

LILITH'S SCORE: 1/5 - Skip it.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 2

Title: Through the Looking Glass
Year: 1976
Starring: Catherine Burgess, Jamee Gillis, Laura Nicholson
Director: Jonas Middleton
Synopsis: A rich socialite escapes her boring lifestyle when a ghost takes her to a sexual hell where anything goes. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Three different versions were shot. It also has a novelization.

I started Halloween Trick & Treat by watching this movie first but I wanted to break up the list by film quality so I saved this one for second review. Also I managed to eke out 5 movies in all. This will be a 5 part series. Enjoy part 2.

When I was a child, I used to watch a lot of nature shows. One time, I was watching one such nature show about the human body. The screen was all closed in and pink. A pleasant female voice announced "We are now travelling up the man's penis." While watching the movie, that quote flashed through my mind.

Through the Looking Glass starts off rather slow and kind of mundane and everyone around Catherine is kind of a dick, especially her husband. She retreats to the attic where she keeps a full length mirror she's had since childhood. She fantasizes a figure on the other side of the glass desires her, praises her, and ravishes her while she masturbates. Only, her fantasies are true. A malevolent presence through the glass is trying to seduce her into an eternal world of youth and ecstasy.

This movie take a turn into the weird early. Very weird. Jaw droppingly weird. We get an extreme close up of Catherine's vagina. Then closer still, So close that the camera actually goes inside it.

We are now travelling up the woman's vagina.

The demon comes from the mirror, or Catherine goes inside it, or something and he finger-fucks her bloody. Catherine is once again seduced in her fantasies and imagines going through the mirror, to an odd dinner party where everyone speaks in rhyme. This is the point where the movie is most evocative of it's namesake. It's as if the film is like "Yeah, we know, Alice In Wonderland. Here you go."

Catherine further fantasizes that she's up in the attic as a child, and her father seduces her. The demon tells her this is how she wishes it had happened.

This film has really interesting bits of mind-bending tricks. As Catherine pleasures herself in front of the mirror, her voice is echoed by the demon's, murmuring her own words back at her. It's a detail that goes a long way to build up the strange atmosphere. The demon is male, speaks with a male voice, but can appear as feminine and scissors the fuck out of Catherine.

Finally the entire movie culminates into a scene of true horror as Catherine finds herself trapped in the Hellscape on the other side of the mirror. Women bathe in shit while calling her abhorrent. Mentally disabled men and women grope and tug and fuck each other. Desperate souls grind against the sand in need of release. It's amazing and horrific.

Then, the demon from the mirror sets his gaze on Catherine's young daughter...

This is a really good example of psychological thriller in the porn genre.

Find it. Watch it. It's quite the treat!

LILITH'S SCORE: 4/5 - Really good, watch it.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Lilith Likes To Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 1

Title: Porno Holocaust
Year: 1981
Starring: Annj Goren, Dirce Funari, Mark Shannon, George Eastman
Director: Joe D'Amato
Synopsis: A group of scientists are taken to a secluded island where nuclear weapons testing occurred in 1958, in order to investigate sightings of mutated animals, and allegations of a monster. On the island, overgrown crabs are discovered, and the researchers and their ship's crew are stalked and spied on by an unseen being. - Via Wikipedia
Why it is Notable: It was one of the first hardcore pornos shown in Italian theatres.

Halloween is upon us so I decided to do something a little different. I watched two vaguely horror themed porno flicks, one was good, and one was bad. I'm going to review them both and post part 1 tonight and part 2 tomorrow. So, let's get the Trick out of the way.

When I engage in a piece of entertainment, I try to make sure it's worth my time. I hate being bored. I'd much rather be angry, amused or baffled than bored. If something is boring me, I tell myself to drop it, because we only have so many hours in our lifetime, and some can be better spent on better porn.

I almost dropped Porno Holocaust because it was boring and inept and obvious that no one wanted to be there.

First sex scene, dude was making horse sounds.

Second sex scene had some of the worst fake sex I've ever seen in my life. I almost stopped it halfway through the first sex scene, wherein two women were "fucking". In reality they were hovering their open mouths over hairy bushes, obscured by strategically placed limbs. In order for actual touching to happen, either the clits or the tongues would have to be 10 inches long. It was amazingly bad. It was worse than belly button fucking from The Room. When I watch porn I want to believe the illusion being sold to me. I want to believe these people are fucking. This was garbage.

But, for the sake of this blog, I soldiered on. I was rewarded with the most awkward, ambivalent threesome probably ever put to film. Two black men have to fuck this white woman and it's clear the men don't know what to do with her. They never get hard, they awkwardly pet her back like one would ruffle a dog's coat, they muss her hair but don't actually hold her head, and they push rope through the entire scene. More than once, one guy looks off-screen with an expression of annoyed confusion. At this point I was going to give it 1.5 stars because I was awestruck with just how amusingly bad this was.

But they lost that half-star quickly.

This petulant "I don't wanna!" vibe is continued through the entire film. The main couple consisted of a white man and a black woman, neither of whom were into it. By this time, my prevailing theory while I watched the rest of these very rote and trite sex scenes were that either everyone was gay, --except for the women who fucked each other, they were probably homophobes--, or racist.

I don't know what else I can say about this. The sex was abysmal, bereft of any charm, heat, passion, or anything interesting. This is part of a series apparently, known as The Caribbean Series. I will not be watching the other films in this series. Not without motivation.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the Trick & Treat Special.

LILITH'S SCORE: 1/5 - Skip It.

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Alice In Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy

Title: Alice In Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy
Year: 1976
Starring: Kristine DeBell, Alan Novak
Director: Bud Townsend
Synopsis: Alice is a good girl who isn't sure she wants to go all the way with her boyfriend. But when she follows a white rabbit into wonderland, she discovered just how fun being naughty can be.
Why it is Notable: It's a musical porn version of Alice in Wonderland.

This review is going to be brief. I don't have much to say about this film.
For a musical, the songs are forgettable.

For an Alice in Wonderland adaptation, the visuals are remarkably uninspired and the costumes are cheap or non-existent. The Cheshire cat doesn't exist, instead the production had two mouse costumes lying around so they decided just to have a couple people wear those and lick Alice all over.

The Mad Hatter sort of looked like Roger Daltrey from Tommy, so that was interesting, if not distracting.

The erotic bits were fine, though there was a charming self-love scene in a river. Probably the highlight of the movie.

I saw this with the cut scenes spliced back into the run time, which made for some fun clashes of quality. There was one chase scene that looked like a skipping DVD, so that was amusing.

At times it forgets its a porn, and at times it forgets its a musical. There was potential here, but something didn't click all the way. A shame.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5 - It's fine.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - The Image (AKA The Punishment of Anne)

Title: The Image (AKA The Punishment of Anne AKA The Mistress and the Slave)
Year: 1975
Starring: Rebecca Brooke, Carl Parker, Marilyn Roberts
Director: Radley Metzger
Synopsis: The story of middle-aged Jean, a writer, who meets an old friend, Claire, a lesbian and also middle-aged, and is soon drawn into her world of sadomasochism, in which they torture Claire's youthful slave, Anne.
(via Wikipedia)
Why it is Notable: It's considered a staple of "Porno Chic".

A few years ago when Fifty Shades of Grey hit the scene, there was concern that it was espousing an unhealthy idea of BDSM, that it encouraged people to enter the fetish scene without fully comprehending the rules of the lifestyle. Even the author of the series has out and out admitted that she just found it hot, with no deeper meaning of the lifestyle.

36 years before Fifty Shades was published, The Image hit the scene, and completely ignored all the Safe, Sane and Consensual rules. Safe words don't exist in this relationship.

This is a tricky one. It has some sequences that push all my personal fetish buttons, but there's just whole chunks of story missing. This is not a story about a healthy BDSM lifestyle, but rather a tale of cruelty and abuse.

We never understand how Claire acquired Anne, nor why Anne agreed to be Claire's slave. We never get to see how Claire and Anne decide to let Jean into their little arrangement. We can infer that Claire loves Jean, and Jean is infatuated with Anne, but it all culminates into a very brutal and confusing climax. You get the feeling that Anne has no idea why she's being punished, and neither does the audience. There is absolutely no love, or ever fondness in this film. Just viciousness.

There are some shots of beauty in this movie, though they are few and far between.

Rebecca Brooke does very well as Anne, her eyes and body language convey a passivity without seeming vacuous. At the same time, a dozen micro-expressions float across her features as Anne is preparing to be whipped. Confusion, excitement, satisfaction, fear. And when her face contorts into pain it's extremely believable, to an uncomfortable degree.

Anne seems sweet and kind and she doesn't deserve this punishment because it's not out of love or enjoyment on her part. She especially doesn't deserve the raw and savagery. In the end, the two abusive shitheads end up together. The movie closes with Jean and Claire fucking on a staircase. We don't even get to see Anne enjoy her new found freedom.

I think ultimately it's a story about jealousy but I guess something was lost in translation.

This is my second time watching this movie and I'm still just as confused as before.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3.5/5 - It's a bit better than fine.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - In The Realm of the Senses

Title: In the Realm of The Senses AKA Ai no korîda
Year: 1976
Starring: Tatsuya Fuji, Eiko Matsuda
Director: Nagisa Ôshima
Synopsis: A passionate telling of the story of Sada Abe, a woman whose affair with her master led to a sexual obsession which then came to a violent end. (via IMDB)
Why it is Notable: It contains scenes of unsimulated sex on screen.

In the Realm of the Senses was added to the watch list because of 2 things - It had unsimulated sex acts on screen, and it had a Criterion Collection release, which meant it was classy.

This movie was inspired by the true tale of Japanese folk hero, Sada Abe, a Japanese woman who killed her lover. Though this movie focuses on the relationship between Sada and said lover.

It was...fine.

It wasn't particularly pretty, for being a French-Japanese co-production. You had all the visuals of Japan, flowing silk, embroidery, the music, the makeup, and it was just sort of there. The inherent beauty in it wasn't romanticized at all.

The sex was, obviously very real since it was real sex and thus, not very sexy.

However, re-watching the trailer for this review, it struck me that the acting was quite impressive. The actors conveyed the passion and obsession quite believably.

So, it's a significant movie for having real on screen sex, and that it tells the true story of a woman who cut off her lover's penis, but it's just sort of...fine. Just fine.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2.5/5 - If that's your kink, then fine.