Sunday, March 31, 2019

Lilith Likes to Watch - Money Month Finale

Welcome to the Money March finale. We've made it to the final on-screen appearance of Constance Money. What a beautiful month it's been.
Title: A Taste of Money
Year: 1983
Starring: Constance Money, Jamie Gillis, Sharon Mitchell, Paul Thomas
Director: Richard Mailer
Synopsis: Chronicling rising star Constance Money's emotional and sexual turmoil, the monumental release "A Taste Of Money" is a standout film indeed. An all-star cast has the unique experience of portraying their own personal roles in delighting the gray-eyed beauty. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's the final on-screen appearance of Constance Money.

"Will I taste the money again?"

What a peculiar swan song this is.

I'll admit, I don't really know all the behind the scenes reasoning for this movie's existence. I don't know what drew Constance Money back into the work. I don't know if this was meant to be some sort of revival of a career, if she needed the money, closure on that part of her life, or if it was something else. I dove into some of the facts behind the whole Money/Metzger thing and it's depressing, so I decided to preserve my enjoyment of Constance Money and not look too deeply into this particular film.

Still, this film exists.

The plot is simple. Porn producers and actors rally to try to bring Constance Money in for one more film. But, Constance is happy living a simple domestic life with her husband who is a musician. Her husband tells her he's going to tour with a band and when she points out she gave up her career in adult films for him, he berates her and leaves. We find out he's fucking some other girl. I hate him.

Constance is brought to the producer, fucks her Misty Beethoven co-star Jamie, then fucks a female friend, Anne, then blows a guy in a hot air balloon. Constance goes to meet the producer, watches him casting-couch a girl, then runs out of the office and hugs her husband instead of returning to an industry that uses young girls like objects.

It's full of metaphors and analogies of Money's career. The conversation she has with her husband is reminiscent of the talk Anna has with her husband in Obsessed, there's an extended sex scene in a kitchen which could be a reference to any number of scenes in Barbara Broadcast, as well as a  scene where they're served by a randomly nude waitress. When the girl, named Connie, comes into the producer's office, Constance literally sees herself.

It wasn't the best we've had this month, the allegory is both really shallow, and also obtuse. The plot, what little there was, didn't make much sense, because Constance never finds out she's being cheated on so her reuniting with her husband is a false happiness. Nor does she rescue the young Connie, and thereby redeems herself. She just leaves Connie to the wolves.

And, I know this is going to sounds like I'm missing the point entirely but there was too much sex. There's an extended fuck-session between the Anne character and some guy. It goes on for minutes and Constance is not on my screen and I didn't come here for these two. The previously mentioned kitchen scene was at least humourous and absurd so it kept my interest.

Obviously the highlight of this film is Constance Money. Unlike most her other films, she takes sexual control in most of her scenes. She initiates, she dominates. It's a return to form from her Peanut Butter and Misty Beethoven days.

The scene where she's fucking her husband might be some of her best work. In one shot, she's rolling from her back to her front and for a moment, she's on her side, sort of curled up, and it's a pretty shot and she looks vulnerable and safe and unguarded. In the same scene, she's riding her husband with control and command, and it's a very nice, powerful shot.

I wish we were wrapping up Money March on a more enjoyable note. Constance Money's professional history is fraught with legal battles and coercion. If you want to learn more, I recommend the podcast The Rialto Report. They have several episodes on Constance Money, including an interview, her films, and several episodes on Radley Metzger. I've linked to all of the Constance Money posts for your convenience so you can do your own deep dive.

I hope to see Constance Money again some day.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5

NEXT TIME: You thought that was the end of the themed month, didn't you? Well things are about to get weird with...Animation April.



Sunday, March 24, 2019

Lilith Likes to Watch - Money March part 4. Double Feature!

Welcome back to Money March. Today we have a Double Feature. How exciting!


Title: Barbara Broadcast
Year: 1977
Starring: Annette Haven, Constance Money, C. J. Laing, Jaime Gillis
Director: Radley Metzger
Synopsis: In a restaurant in New York, the menu is unusual, with some sauces prepared by waiters on the spot. In this scenery, at another table, a reporter interviews a famous prostitute. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Constance Money is in chains and on a mirror. That's why.

"Is it still a business doing pleasure with you?"

So, right off the bat, the movie looks really good. the first thing noticeable about this film is the colour composition. Nails, lips and tongues are red and pink, but everything else is shades of complimentary greens and creamy earth tones.

It is, however, the oral-y-ist of movies. Which is fine, I like some good oral but it feels kind of endless. The scenes go on and on and really, the movie's plot is just a series of vignettes. People meet and fuck so sudden and interchangeably it becomes droning.

Also, this is completely the Annette Haven Show, which is fine, she's striking and I'm not complaining at all, but after one hour and six minutes of a one hour and twenty-something movie I started to wonder if Constance Money was even in this.

My patience was rewarded. There she was, done up in silver chains and leather cuffs and nipple clamps, sitting on a mirror on the floor and spread open wide. I was immediately intrigued but also concerned, for myriad of reasons.

First off, apparently all the Constance Money scenes I'm talking about in this Double Feature were all originally filmed for The Opening of Misty Beethoven but were cut, and Constance Money didn't conscent to them being put in other films.

Second of all, one of my first Lilith Likes to Watch reviews was Radley Metzger's The Image. That movie is intense and rather cruel. And, allegedly Metzger and Money did not get along.

However, it's a great scene. She looks to be in a tolerable amount of discomfort, the chains seem slack enough that she actually has to grip them to make them tighter, there's no hitting or shoving or forcing of anything and by the end of the scene she's reveling in the cum, and smiling a genuine smile which, once again, all her acting has always been in her face. She gives affirming nods to her partner. She's ok.

If Radley didn't think she had something special he wouldn't have her doing creative, comparatively 'extreme' shit like this over and over again.

And it's the best blowjob in the whole movie.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5



Title: Maraschino Cherry
Year: 1978
Starring: Gloria Leonard, Leslie Bovee, Annette Haven, Constance Money,
Director: Radley Metzger
Synopsis: The madame of a high-class new York brothel teaches her younger sister all about the business. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: The final film Constance Money appeared in until her revival.

"I am the kill."

Impromptu history lesson for you: I first watched this movie the day after I posted my very first Lilith Likes to Watch review. I was struggling for something to say about it. So, I decided "Fuck it, maybe I'll do a whole month of Constance Money movies some day."

And, here we are.

I am still at a loss for words at this movie. It's just another series of scenes that have very little connective tissue between them. It's annoying because obviously Metzger's track record proves he can tell a story.

In this movie, it's very clear that certain scenes were filmed for The Opening of Misty Beethoven, as one feels like straight up Misty cosplay, with the pigtails and everything.

All together, Constance Money is in three scenes. The first, she wades into a lake in a public park, playing with the miniature motorized sailboats. She's very cute and playful and I want a Constance Money mermaid of my very own.

The scene changes to her and the sailboat guy watching porn while she's in her Misty Beethoven pigtails and jewelry, and she gives him a hand job to climax.

But there's another scene with Constance Money, a woman, and a bullfighter, which is deleted from the DVD release. Probably because it was put in without Money's permission. The scene itself is fine, nothing stellar, especially for the more adventurous acts we've seen Money do. Other than, of course, her beauty and movement, the best part of the scene is her shimmering gold matador outfit, particularly the pants with these huge bell-bottom flairs.

If this was indeed a scene meant for Misty, I'm hard pressed to figure out where it's supposed to go. Anyone acting opposite to Money isn't credited for Misty. Oh well.

To this movie's credit, it does all culminate to an interesting scene of dominance and submission which features Annette Haven.

If, in fact, footage was used without permission of Constance Money, I could see why she left the whole porn film world. It's a shame because she was very good at what she did.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5

NEXT TIME: Next week we conclude Money March with her final film, A Taste of Money.



Sunday, March 17, 2019

Lilith Likes to Watch - Money March Part 3

Welcome back to Money March! Today we continue with something that was meant to be so much more than what it is...


Title: Obsessed  (AKA Anna Obsessed)
Year: 1977
Starring: Constance Money, Annette Haven, John Leslie
Director: Martin & Martin
Synopsis: A psycho stalks and violates women at gunpoint. One woman is determined to stop him. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's notorious for being hacked to bits.

"Hello, beautiful."

This is going to be a tough review because what I was presented was not the full film.

Legend tells of an 82 minute cut of the movie Obsessed, where Constance Money is violated with a pistol, and scenes of her trauma are cut between moments of lovemaking. This movie has been cut and recut, re-released so many different times that now it's an abused, emaciated corpse of what it was meant to be.

What the common plebeians, like I, are left with is a cut that is 75 minutes long. A near-incoherent hack-job of a narrative interspersed with hot sex and a story that ends way too abruptly.

Constance Money plays Anna, who's in a sexually unsatisfying marriage with David. He doesn't like to eat pussy and she just can't get off. David is also having an affair with his secretary, who gobbles down his cock like it was the best corn-dog.

Anna meets Maggie, played by Annette Haven and the two start a very close, sexual relationship.

Meanwhile, a psycho is raping and murdering women and girls. One dark night, Anna becomes a victim.

The best part of this film, by far, is the sex. Particularly between Money and Haven. It's tender, gentle, loving and Money squirms around like a coquettish kitten while Haven ravishes her. The male/female/female orgy was nice too, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

But, I also have to give a special nod to a masturbation scene. The secretary is fantasizing at her desk, of being violently taken by a man. The scene is just her and him, all in stark shadows, and the office phone rings. We flash for a second back to reality, for just a few frames, then back to the fantasy. On the second phone ring, the secretary returns to the real world and gets back to work, answering the phone. There's an idea there. I wish such cleverness was carried through the rest of the film.

The performances are good, even Constance Money, whom people seem to think cannot act. There's a scene near the start of the film where they discuss their marital woes and Money pulls off ice queen pretty well. After the argument she chirps sweetly "Have a nice day, honey!" so, she has bitch down pat.

Unfortunately I can't review what was meant to be, only what I have been presented with. Everything  this movie uses to sell itself in this day and age is wrong: The plot synopsis, the editing, even the title! Scissored hands have taken what could have been an effective psycho-sexual thriller that could have been a prelude to well known films like Basic Instinct, and made an incoherent mess.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2.5/5

NEXT TIME: A Constance Money Double Feature, as well as the return of Annette Haven with Maracheno Cherry and Barbara Broadcast.



Sunday, March 10, 2019

Lilith Likes to Watch - Money March Part 2

Welcome back to Money March! Today we continue with one of the most famous porn films of all time...


Title: The Opening of Misty Beethoven
Year: 1975
Starring: Constance Money, Jamie Gillis, Jacqueline Beudant, Ras Kean, Terri Hall
Director: Radley Mitzger
Synopsis: Pornography meets Pygmalion. Misty, the hooker, meets the sexologist who thinks he can transform her from "the nadir of passion" into someone who inspires passion.- Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: One of the most beloved and renowned porno movies of all time. The movie that made Constance Money a star.

"Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right."

Well, here we are, the first Constance Money film I ever saw, and the film that made me a fan.

Dr. Seymour Love finds a hooker who refuses to engage in exciting activities with her clients. The "Nadir of Passion", he's convinced he could make her into the next Goldenrod Girl, the talk of the town, an alluring sexpot. To do this, she has to fuck Lawrence Layman.

It takes place in a world where casual sex is a service like getting snacks on an airplane. In fact, the movie basically turns into Airplane! The Porno, for 5 minutes, with several instances of stewardesses servicing the guests.

It's full of interesting set pieces, particularly one shot where Misty is suspended, balanced on her on her knees in a wall sculpture while giving a blowjob.

There are several "training montages", where Misty learns how to pleasure men with and women with he mouth and hands.

There's also a learn by example scene which is full of amusing dialog but also strangely sexy. The way the woman moves up on the other woman is catlike and graceful. It results in a hot lesbian scene which I fully appreciate.

During this scene, Dr. Love is in the background, watching and getting sucked off by his maids while Misty is sitting there, fully clothed and just taking in the lesson.

It's worth noting that Misty herself never indulges. In Dr, Love's manor, maids will give men blowjobs without even being told to, it's as casual as breathing, but never once does Misty just sit back and enjoy the service of the maids. There's only one moment where Misty is casually pleasured. That is on the plane and it is for the pleasure of the woman servicing her.

After an extended man/woman fuck, the man climaxes and his whole body does these tiny, jerking twitches. It added a genuine feel to the scene and it was very effective.

As a final test on her way to laying Layman, Misty seduces a gay man and fucks him so good he becomes straight.

At a party, Misty, very much in command, orders Layman to her. Layman, Misty and Layman's woman engage in a very hot threesome. The movie takes a moment to enjoy the image of Constance Money putting on a strap on. Pegging is not something I'm usually into, but Constance has such a look of control that I could put up with it.

In fact, it might have been the scene that made me a fan of Constance Money in the first place. You see, my favorite thing about Constance Money is a specific expression she's able to make. It's a cross between a domineering snarl and a lusty pout. Teeth grit, lips parted, there's something so incredibly sexy about this expression that I absolutely love it.

You see girls today try to do it and they just can't manage. Their collagen-enhanced lips can't handle it.

Misty is the Goldenrod Girl!

Dr. Love brags about how he had to beat her into submission, which is a lie, to save face. Misty, hurt, walks out on him.

One year later, no one remembers her name, and Dr. Love still hasn't written his book.

But, Misty comes back, sucks him off, and Dr. Love fucking negs her in some misplaced jocular way to endear her to him but also apologize? Like "haha, remember the good times we had? When I called you the Nadir of passion?" But it's alright because she bites his dick.

Then they fall in love and fuck.

The movie ends with the reveal that Misty, wearing a blazer and a button up and a bow tie, is now in charge of Dr. Love's manor and Dr. Love is her bondage sub slave. And I cannot get enough of Constance Money in a suit. I need more of that in my life.

Apparently Constance and director Radley Mitzger didn't get along, apparently he told her she couldn't act. Maybe she couldn't. Maybe her dialog delivery was a little stilted, but all of her best work is in her expressions, her smiling eyes as Misty looks up at Dr. Love as they reunite with a surprise blowjob. Her shy disgust at the thought of training her jaw, the softly furrowed brow as she shook out her tired wrists. As I mentioned in my review of Confessions of a Peanut Butter Freak, Constance lets her eyes and her face get across all the ideas and thoughts her voice can't or won't. Silence can be golden and Misty is the Goldenrod Girl.

LILITH'S SCORE: 5/5

NEXT TIME: We continue Money March with a tale of women in danger in Obsessed


Sunday, March 3, 2019

Lilith Likes to Watch - Money March Part 1

Welcome to Money March! where Lilith revels in the beauty and poise of the stunning Constance Money. First up, her screen debut: Confessions of a Teenage Peanut Butter Freak.

Title: Confessions of a Teenage Peanut Butter Freak
Year: 1975
Starring: Zachary Strong, Helen Madigan, John Holmes, Constance Money
Director: Zachary Strong
Synopsis: Sexual awakening of Billy, an inept teenager who undergoes a series of humiliating, but nevertheless arousing experiences. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's the first on-screen appearance of Constance Money.

"You better learn to join in instead of standing around watching with your hands in your pockets."

This is a story about Billy, a young man who has a fetish for peanut butter and is extremely shy and awkward around girls. He goes on a date and the girl fantasizes about fucking him in the car with the most nefarious facial expressions. The date ends and we get the funniest part of the film. His date tries to exit the car when Billy tells her the passenger door won't open. So, she just climbs over Billy's lap and out his door. It made me snicker, or it would have if the film wasn't so dark that I could barely see anything.

After the date, Billy stops to get gas and finds his friend Priscilla working there. She tells him she has nice peanut butter at her place and they go there. Awkwardness ensues until Priscilla asks why he's so nervous around girls. Billy proceeds to open up to her.

You see, one day, teenage Billy was happily masturbating when his aunt, armed with a snack of peanut butter and milk, walks in. She flips out, hurries out of the room and the bread lands peanut butter side down on his dick. At risk of blaming the victim here, this is his fault. Learn to lock your fucking door, Billy.

Aunt Opal returns, all horny and proceeds to, at first, berate him, shame him, then out and out rapes him. Billy is saying no, and when Billy is told to eat his aunt out, he doesn't want to. Not until she slathers peanut butter on her bush.

When it's all over, Aunt Opal once again threatens Billy not to tell anyone it happened.

But, that wasn't the only trauma poor Billy endured.

Some indeterminate amount of time later, young Billy returns home to hear sounds coming from upstairs and finds his cousin in bed with another girl. And that girl is none other than Constance Money.

Constance Money with another woman.

Constance Money with another woman on a waterbed.

And then Constance straps a dildo on and proceeds to fuck the other girl.

This is some debut!

Maybe I'm biased because she's my absolute favorite but Constance totally steals the scene. The other girl is all screams and flails, fake cumming at the drop of a hat.

When the girls realize they're spotted, the camera shows a close up of each girl's face and Constance has the most sad, shocked face.

The cousin berates Billy and Constance laughs and seems to be having a good time. The camera obviously loves her but again, maybe I'm biased.

The girls cuff Billy's hands behind his back, throw him onto the bed, spank him, tease him, and fuck him.

We return to the present, and Priscilla tells Billy about how, when she was young, two boys who she was friends with chased her down in the woods, rip off all her clothes, and fuck her to climax. She says something about how they used her as an object, how she didn't get to cum, how, while it felt good, it made her angry and it all felt empty.

Wait a second. Is this movie....progressive?

Is this actually a story about dealing with PTSD, past trauma, and finding someone who can accept you for who you are, despite your kinks, and baggage if you can deal with theirs?

...huh.

Also, holy shit I think I used to have that Mickey Mouse pillowcase when I was a kid. This is the second object from a porn I recognize. The other was a snake belt in the Zebedy Colt film Virgin Dreams. I should start a list of things featured in pornos that I too, owned at one time or another.

My theory is further supported when Priscilla confesses her love for Billy. The movie culminates to a wedding with an oddly eerie sound meandering in the background, purposefully to raise the tension of the scene. Instead of rings, they have peanut butter and jelly bread on pillows. Instead of kissing, Priscilla picks up her jelly bread, and takes a bite.

Billy freezes.

Priscilla takes another bite of her jelly bread, to encourage him that it's going to be alright.

Billy doesn't move.

Scenes from the movie are spliced in, with a rising sound of dread and foreboding

The bride takes a third bite, but her expression of sadness and devastation grows in her eyes. Alone, she chews.

The frame freezes on a wide shot of the bride and groom while the credits roll.

For a screen debut of a familiar face, one who would go on to star in one of the most famous vintage porn movies, it's quite something. Constance Money seemed game, and like I said, seemed to be enjoying herself. Certainly an erotic film star in the making.

As a film, I actually think it might be a little deeper than it first appears. Make no mistake, Billy was raped by family members, and Priscilla was at least coerced, if not raped. It turned him into a nebbish awkward nobody and her into a handsy, sexually liberated nice girl. The ambiguous ending hints that, not even love can solve deeply inflicted wounds.

It's interesting.

It has layers. Like a peanut butter sandwich.

LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5

NEXT TIME: We continue Money March with the film that made Constance Money a star: The Opening of Misty Beethoven.