Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Finale!

Title: The Devil Inside Her
Year: 1977
Starring: Jody Maxwell, Terri Hall, Dean Tait, Zebedy Colt, Rod DuMont
Director: Zebedy Colt
Synopsis: A woman sells her soul to the devil to obtain the man she loves. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Well known in grindhouse and horror circles.
Watch it now: XHamster

Sometimes I fear I expect too much out of porn. I hold all my entertainment to a certain standard. If it's in film, that standard is believable acting, and a good plot. Even in porn. Porn has the extra burden of requiring enjoyable, erotic sex scenes as well. It makes me feel like a weirdo.

But then, a porno like The Devil Inside Her will come along and assures me that it's okay to expect, nay, demand these things from porno.

The Devil Inside Her involves two sisters, Faith and Hope in the mid- 1800s who love the same man. Their father is extremely puritan and forbids their daughters from loving anyone and punishes Faith by whipping her for just kissing the boy.

Meanwhile, Hope, in a fit of jealousy, sells her soul to the Devil and acquires a love potion from a witch. Then the Devil goes around, magically transforming into other characters and fucking everybody.

And it's compelling as hell.

There's an especially amazing scene where Hope, in the midst of an emotional and mental breakdown, begs for the boy's cock while fucking herself with vegetables and fruits. I know the way I describe it makes it sound silly but the actress comes across as on the brink of emotional collapse, desperate for the object of her unrequited love and tumbleing into madness. Her hands and legs are covered in soil as she grips at her inner thighs in need.

Meanwhile, other actors who were previously playing pious, virtuous girls or stoic, doting parents now have to pretend to be the Devil pretending to be them, and so they have to contort their tongues, harden and madden their gaze, and give themselves Cheshire grins.

It all devolves into an orgy that invoked memories of Behind The Green Door but not as full of itself, and therefore enjoyable.

The costumes are bad. Characters wear denim, which wasn't around in the 1800's, and The Devil looks like a rejected member of KISS but it's all easily overlooked because of the plot and performances.

This is honestly one of the best pornos I have ever watched. Definitely a Halloween Treat!

LILITH'S SCORE: 4/5 - Really good, watch it.

So there we have it, the inaugural Lilith Likes To Watch: Halloween Trick & Treat! What do you think of the films selected? What should Lilith watch next year? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or on Twitter @BWMTweet.

Thank you all for joining me with my tricks and my treats.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 4

Title: Necromania: A Tale of Weird Love
Year: 1971
Starring: Maria Arnold, Rene Bond, Ric Lutze
Director: Ed Wood
Synopsis: A couple having marital problems (the husband can't seem to rise to the occasion) visits Madame Heles, a necromancer, in hopes of ameliorating their boudoir blunders. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It was directed by Ed Wood. Yes, that Ed Wood.

When I saw that this was directed by Ed Wood Jr. I thought that was a pseudonym. Like the porn actress Tyra Banxxx, or the oh-so-clever named porn parodies like Game of Bones. Sort of "You know that director Ed Wood? Well, I'm gonna be Ed Wood JUNIOR!". I had no idea that was his real full name.

I don't have any love for Ed Wood, I don't think I've ever sat through Plan 9 From Outer Space. I don't find bad movies fun or funny unless I'm with a group of friends and armed with alcohol. I've never seen any of his other films and so I'm not familiar with the trappings of an Ed Wood movie.

Given that, I can take Necromania on it's own.

It's boring and everyone's an asshole. Good night everybody!

No, no, I kid. A little.

It is boring, it's filled with that same faux-lesbian bull-crap that annoys me so much. Obviously if certain acts make the actors uncomfortable, they shouldn't be forced to perform them but if you want to get around it, go for creative obfuscation and mystery. Maybe a heavy make-out session while hands are off-screen or something. You know, movie magic!

There were two small fun scenes. One was a magic ritual in which a woman makes a human skull kiss her nipples. I was disappointed she didn't grind herself against the skull.

The second was coffin sex. The coffin sex was way, way too short and felt like it was meant to include a minsky pickup song cue.

The thing is, other than the atrocious acting, Necromania isn't inept or anything. Probably because it was one of Wood's last films so he knew what he was doing by then. The lack of ineptitude probably heightened the dullness of the film. It barely tantalizes and doesn't go near crazy enough with it's premise. Despite the title, there's nothing weird about this.

Maybe if you're a big Ed Wood fan or really love old porn or camp you might get something out of it, but otherwise it's a Halloween Trick.

LILITH'S SCORE: 1/5 - Skip It

Monday, October 29, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 3

Title: Wet Wilderness
Year: 1976
Starring: Daymon Gerard, Alice Hammer, Raymond North, Faye Little
Director: Lee Cooper
Synopsis: A machete killer attacks a picnic party but can the mother stop his rampage? - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It's purely here for Halloween viewing.

Wet Wilderness is one huge waste of time.

I love me a good rapist-murderer sleezefest but this was rife with horrible dubbing, pointless characters, terrible shifts from scenes to scenes and really, really atrocious acting.

Look, you're being held at machete-point by a killer wearing a knock-off, bargain bin Deadpool mask. You can at least pretend to be a little bit scared.

The only time anyone is scared, it's the mother, as she's raped in front of her (I assume are supposed to be) teenage children who are fucking one another. Good job at staying in character.

Then, the son and mother are forced to fuck and they really, genuinely seem to be enjoying themselves. At least someone here is. It was enough to almost make me bump the score up half a star. Almost.

After the son fucks his mother, the son is not killed. In fact, he's simply dropped from the film entirely. We never see him again and no one comments on him ever existing. Object permanence is not a concept these people can grasp.

Sometimes the killer's is wearing a completely different mask and speaking with a completely different voice. Someone clearly couldn't make it for all the days of filming.

The copy I watched had music from Psycho and Jaws in it. This is a mistake. Never remind your audience of a better movie.

The film ends in a poorly shot disappointment.

Wet Wilderness is a Halloween Trick

LILITH'S SCORE: 1/5 - Skip it.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Lilith Likes to Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 2

Title: Through the Looking Glass
Year: 1976
Starring: Catherine Burgess, Jamee Gillis, Laura Nicholson
Director: Jonas Middleton
Synopsis: A rich socialite escapes her boring lifestyle when a ghost takes her to a sexual hell where anything goes. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Three different versions were shot. It also has a novelization.

I started Halloween Trick & Treat by watching this movie first but I wanted to break up the list by film quality so I saved this one for second review. Also I managed to eke out 5 movies in all. This will be a 5 part series. Enjoy part 2.

When I was a child, I used to watch a lot of nature shows. One time, I was watching one such nature show about the human body. The screen was all closed in and pink. A pleasant female voice announced "We are now travelling up the man's penis." While watching the movie, that quote flashed through my mind.

Through the Looking Glass starts off rather slow and kind of mundane and everyone around Catherine is kind of a dick, especially her husband. She retreats to the attic where she keeps a full length mirror she's had since childhood. She fantasizes a figure on the other side of the glass desires her, praises her, and ravishes her while she masturbates. Only, her fantasies are true. A malevolent presence through the glass is trying to seduce her into an eternal world of youth and ecstasy.

This movie take a turn into the weird early. Very weird. Jaw droppingly weird. We get an extreme close up of Catherine's vagina. Then closer still, So close that the camera actually goes inside it.

We are now travelling up the woman's vagina.

The demon comes from the mirror, or Catherine goes inside it, or something and he finger-fucks her bloody. Catherine is once again seduced in her fantasies and imagines going through the mirror, to an odd dinner party where everyone speaks in rhyme. This is the point where the movie is most evocative of it's namesake. It's as if the film is like "Yeah, we know, Alice In Wonderland. Here you go."

Catherine further fantasizes that she's up in the attic as a child, and her father seduces her. The demon tells her this is how she wishes it had happened.

This film has really interesting bits of mind-bending tricks. As Catherine pleasures herself in front of the mirror, her voice is echoed by the demon's, murmuring her own words back at her. It's a detail that goes a long way to build up the strange atmosphere. The demon is male, speaks with a male voice, but can appear as feminine and scissors the fuck out of Catherine.

Finally the entire movie culminates into a scene of true horror as Catherine finds herself trapped in the Hellscape on the other side of the mirror. Women bathe in shit while calling her abhorrent. Mentally disabled men and women grope and tug and fuck each other. Desperate souls grind against the sand in need of release. It's amazing and horrific.

Then, the demon from the mirror sets his gaze on Catherine's young daughter...

This is a really good example of psychological thriller in the porn genre.

Find it. Watch it. It's quite the treat!

LILITH'S SCORE: 4/5 - Really good, watch it.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Lilith Likes To Watch - Halloween Trick & Treat Special! Part 1

Title: Porno Holocaust
Year: 1981
Starring: Annj Goren, Dirce Funari, Mark Shannon, George Eastman
Director: Joe D'Amato
Synopsis: A group of scientists are taken to a secluded island where nuclear weapons testing occurred in 1958, in order to investigate sightings of mutated animals, and allegations of a monster. On the island, overgrown crabs are discovered, and the researchers and their ship's crew are stalked and spied on by an unseen being. - Via Wikipedia
Why it is Notable: It was one of the first hardcore pornos shown in Italian theatres.

Halloween is upon us so I decided to do something a little different. I watched two vaguely horror themed porno flicks, one was good, and one was bad. I'm going to review them both and post part 1 tonight and part 2 tomorrow. So, let's get the Trick out of the way.

When I engage in a piece of entertainment, I try to make sure it's worth my time. I hate being bored. I'd much rather be angry, amused or baffled than bored. If something is boring me, I tell myself to drop it, because we only have so many hours in our lifetime, and some can be better spent on better porn.

I almost dropped Porno Holocaust because it was boring and inept and obvious that no one wanted to be there.

First sex scene, dude was making horse sounds.

Second sex scene had some of the worst fake sex I've ever seen in my life. I almost stopped it halfway through the first sex scene, wherein two women were "fucking". In reality they were hovering their open mouths over hairy bushes, obscured by strategically placed limbs. In order for actual touching to happen, either the clits or the tongues would have to be 10 inches long. It was amazingly bad. It was worse than belly button fucking from The Room. When I watch porn I want to believe the illusion being sold to me. I want to believe these people are fucking. This was garbage.

But, for the sake of this blog, I soldiered on. I was rewarded with the most awkward, ambivalent threesome probably ever put to film. Two black men have to fuck this white woman and it's clear the men don't know what to do with her. They never get hard, they awkwardly pet her back like one would ruffle a dog's coat, they muss her hair but don't actually hold her head, and they push rope through the entire scene. More than once, one guy looks off-screen with an expression of annoyed confusion. At this point I was going to give it 1.5 stars because I was awestruck with just how amusingly bad this was.

But they lost that half-star quickly.

This petulant "I don't wanna!" vibe is continued through the entire film. The main couple consisted of a white man and a black woman, neither of whom were into it. By this time, my prevailing theory while I watched the rest of these very rote and trite sex scenes were that either everyone was gay, --except for the women who fucked each other, they were probably homophobes--, or racist.

I don't know what else I can say about this. The sex was abysmal, bereft of any charm, heat, passion, or anything interesting. This is part of a series apparently, known as The Caribbean Series. I will not be watching the other films in this series. Not without motivation.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the Trick & Treat Special.

LILITH'S SCORE: 1/5 - Skip It.