Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Girlcore: Rock You Like a Hurricane - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Girlcore: Rock You Like a Hurricane
Year: 2019
Starring: Charlotte Stokely, Karla Kush, Katrina Jade, Lena Paul
Director: Craven Moorehead
Synopsis: Two rival rock bands, Twisted Fister, led by Micki Jett and MegaLez, led by Rhonda Rotten arrive at an empty venue for a battle of the bands. The bands have a long history of competing with each other. The girls from Twisted Fister and the ladies from MegaLez can't wait to face off and finally settle who's the most bitchin' band once and for all! - Via Girlsway.com
Why it is Notable: I wanted to see what Girlcore had to offer.

"Psyche! Bitch, you are going down, let's do this."

There's no better form of advertisement than a good product. My enjoyment of Teenage Lesbian made me seek out more from GirlSway.com, and explore their offerings. So, that's what we're going to do for the next month. We're just going to watch season two of Girlcore.

Episode 1: Rock You Like a Hurricane.

The all girl rock bands Twisted Fister and MegaLez are both present to rock the Battle of the Bands, but a hurricane has cancelled the concert and the two bands are stuck in the venue. After they have their own private Battle of the Bands to see who's best, they end in a tie. So, there's only one way to settle this once and for all...

The stakes have never been higher.

Alright, so, this is a very porny porn. The dialog is not great and the set-up is very simple. It's very noisy, and frantic, and bodies switch around in seconds. Girls lose track of their fuck-buddies and don't realize who's fucking them. None of this is wrong. It's all fine.

However, occasionally performers will be making a lot of pleasure-noises, but the action will be off-screen while the camera focuses on the other two ladies who are getting into position.. At least everyone was doing something, no one was left idling by but whatever was happening off-camera sounded interesting and piqued my curiosity. The camera man and editor's attention was unfocused.

While the acting and dialog was basic, the performers were able to convince me that the sex was amazing sex. Either Katrina Jade fucks and eats pussy like a god, or Lena Paul is super sensitive.

For a season opener, it's good. It delivers what it promised and ends on an amusing little joke. If you want to watch pretty girls in 80's hair metal accouterments fuck, you can't ask for anything more.

Best Moment: The chemistry between all the girls is really noticeable. They all seem to be enjoying themselves.

Worst Moment: They had Kira Noir and they didn't use her! What the fuck?


NEXT TIME: We continue with Girlcore Season 2 with Working for the Weekend.

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

The Handmaiden (Extended Edition) - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: The Handmaiden (Extended Edition)
Year: 2016
Starring: Min-hee Kim, Jung-woo Ha, Jin-woong Cho
Director: Chan-wook Park
Synopsis: A woman is hired as a handmaiden to a Japanese heiress, but secretly she is involved in a plot to defraud her.
Why it is Notable: It's being talked about in film circles again thanks to Parasite winning Best Film in the Academy Awards this year.

"The bitter turned sour, the sour turned sweet, the sweet turned savory..."

Congratulations to Bong Joon-ho for winning the Oscars for Best International Film, Best Directing, Best Writing and Best Film! Parasite is a movie making Hollywood history. I've yet to see it.

With his wins, cinephiles are talking up his other films, particularly Memories of Murder and the English language Snowpiercer. The discourse is stretching out to recommendations for other Korean films, including Oldboy, and The Handmaiden.


Who's the real Lady?

The Handmaiden
 is a 2016 Korean film inspired by the novel The Fingersmith. It centers around three characters, each trying to play each other to get what they want.

Sook-Hee is a fraudster and pick-pocket hired by a charlatan calling himself  The Count to pose as a handmaiden and worm her way into the confidence of a wealthy heiress Hideko. Meanwhile The Count plans to woo the seemingly innocent Hideko, marry her, and lock her in a mad-house so he can claim her wealth for his own.

Gradually Sook-Hee and Hideko fall under each other's spell. Will Sook-Hee reveal the truth to Lady Hideko or continue the charade?

The Handmaiden is extremely difficult to talk about without giving spoilers. It's so nuanced and tangled that to say one thing can spoil another thing. So, take this review for what it is, I guess.

Reading is for nerds.

I had seen this movie in its original cut a few years back when it came out. In 2016 it seemed to be on everyone's Best Of lists, and was praised for the depiction of lesbian love and sex. I won't lie, that praise is what made me watch the movie. I'd never seen the extended cut. The director himself says he recommends the theatrical cut for first time viewers. I don't know that I agree or disagree. I feel the extended could be more impact but also more confusing.

This movie is gorgeous. There are a lot of wide shots with good use of symmetry or repeated visuals. There are a lot of use of mirrors or images within images. Many hard lines, but also a softness. Good use of colour and light.

The acting is superb. Everyone, from Sook-Hee to Hideko's lecherous uncle communicate so much through their expressions and infliction that it transcends language barriers. A tiny quirk of the brow can say so much. A moment of silence, volume, a stammer.

I think a zen garden would really pull the room together.
The one thing that keeps this movie from being a 5 out of 5 is that there are long portions of  the film where two characters are speaking to each other that just bogs the film down. It reminded me of the dinner scene in Apocalypse Now. It just feels like it goes on forever and drags the run time.

I know, lame review, sorry, I just can't discuss this movie without spoilers and I urge you all to go watch it. If you're new to Korean film, this is a good place to start. If you like lesbian love and sex, this is a great movie for that. If you want to expand your film horizons, give this a try.

Lady balls.
Best Moment: Besides the lesbian sex scene? The second lesbian sex scene.

Worst Moment: The Count talking to Hideko's uncle. Get on with it.


NEXT TIME: We explore some of the offerings of Girlcore.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Lilith Likes to Tease - Feb 25 2020

The Fates conspired against me this weekend, so I have to present a Lilith Likes to Tease.

Let's begin with some bridal lesbians, produced by DulTV.

Now, for something unusual and interesting. Some infa-red fucking. The first video is Anonymous but the second is brought to us by TBoneOnRye

A woman wears a pretty mask while satisfying her girlfriend, courtesy of TaffetaSpark

Our favourite redhead Caelyx has left Patreon and moved to ManyVids. Go show her some lust!

If you would like to be featured on Lilith Likes to Tease, use the contact form on the right sidebar, or DM on Twitter or Fetlife with the subject "Lilith Likes to Tease" and we'll talk.

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Secretary - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Secretary
Year: 2002
Starring: Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Spader
Director: Steven Shainberg
Synopsis: A young woman, recently released from a mental hospital, gets a job as a secretary to a demanding lawyer, where their employer-employee relationship turns into a sexual, sadomasochistic one. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It was a mainstream BDSM movie before 50 Shades of Grey.

"I've been doing it since 7th grade."

I've been promising this review for months, so no preamble, let's just get into it.

Secretary is a movie I have personal conflict with. It's one of the movies that explains a lot of things about me. If Bram Stoker's Dracula was a catalyst for pre-pubescent Lilith, then Secretary was a highlighter. But at the time of my first viewing, I didn't like the film. It made me uncomfortable in ways I didn't understand.

I think part of my problem is James Spader. I never really understood where he was coming from. He was this weird twitchy, sweaty guy with very little charisma and no charm. The casting was just off for me. Imagine, you will, Micheal Keaton.

Edward, in the movie, obviously has a history of trying to find the perfect submissive. His first secretary failed, and his ex wife comments on how submissive Lee is. So why is he so flummoxed around her? I guess I'm missing something but it just doesn't ring true to me.

So much said without a single word.

Maggie Gyllenhaal, likewise is kind of plain and mousy but in her case that was the point. Lee finds herself, her determination, her confidence, through their little escapades. Gyllenhaal carries this entire film, subtle expressions in her eyes and face communicate everything she needs to.

It's not a particularly pretty film. The lighting and camera work is all flat and there's only one or two really striking shots. The costuming and set design do a lot of work and the blocking is good at times. The single continuous shot of Lee in the opening of the film is good but there's no real interesting colour except for a dream sequence and Edward's little garden. The film randomly slows down  and the shot turns graney for emphasis  or memory. There's nothing spectacular, so you watch it for the plot and performances.

So, let's address the big grey elephant in the room. Yes. This movie predates the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon by over a decade. When 50 Shades came out, this movie tried to rebrand itself, claiming to be "The Original Mr. Grey" and they're not wrong. I really wish this movie had been the sensation because it does a better job explaining the difference between BDSM and abusive relationships. Lee has most the power. Lee initiates the scenes. Lee can take whatever Edward throws at her, longer than even he can.

A nice shot.
The movie doesn't delve into concepts like sub-space or anything, but it does touch on the importance of aftercare, which I didn't know existed until I saw this movie. The way Edward so tenderly bathes Lee after her endurance test to be with him, just puts me in awe every time I watch it. There's a shot where he'd toweling her off and she looks so strong and commanding, and he's the servant and I just love it. Also I think this might be where I got my love for wedding dresses...

It's too perfect.
The epilogue to the movie crystallizes everything, what it means to be a sub and dom. Once more Lee initiates the scene, preparing it for when Edward gets home from the office.

I don't know what more I can say. As I grow as a person, my enjoyment of this film grows with me. I've seen it 3 times now and I like it more each time. It still has flaws which I don't think I'll ever understand but it's a unique film that feels ahead of its time. If you haven't seen it, you should. What 50 Shades gets wrong, Secretary  does right. And it did it first.

Best Moment: The bathing scene.

Worst Moment: The unclear motivations of Edward Grey's character.


NEXT TIME: I might take a little break. I might not. Either way, the next movie is The Handmaiden.

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Porn Logic 3: A Step Away - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Porn Logic 3: A Step Away
Year: 2019
Starring: Lacy Lennon, Quinton James
Director: ???
Synopsis: In their much anticipated duet release, Lacy Lennon and Quinton James utilize their musical prowess to weigh in on the latest craze, which is 'just a step away.' - via Youtube
Why it is Notable: It's a musical porn about incest that everyone's talking about. I get to say I witnessed porn history.

"It's a shade of grey."

I found about this where all wonderful and terrible things are picked up and put down: Reddit. Being me, and doing what I do, I scrapped all my plans and knew I had to watch this. This was historic. This was picked up by AV Club, this was being compared, favourably, to CATS. I would be a lackluster connoisseur of porn if I didn't jump in on this bandwagon.

Keep in mind, musical pornos are nothing new. Last year we saw the release of The Loin King which had a similar run time and had a handful of songs. But that was also a parody film. Way back into the Golden Age of Porn, many pornos had at least an exclusive theme song, and parody porn is rife with music. Captain Marvel XXX had a parody of the Deadpool 2 theme song playing over the credits.

But, this is not parody and this is not Golden Age. And, most importantly, can it be called a musical if it only has one song?

The song is good, it's catchy, with nice harmonies. The choreography, while extremely basic, works well, the jokes land and the two leads are charismatic and look good together.

Once the song ends, the couple fuck for 25 minutes or so. The sex is enjoyable to watch, with Lacy Lennon doing most of the work and rolling her hips in a way I greatly appreciate. Even her spit play is strangely endearing. I enjoyed her far more in this than I did in Captain Marvel XXX.

The one critique of her performance I have is that she rolls her eyes back a lot, and it gives her some strange facial expressions that I found off-putting.

I enjoyed this though. I was never bored, the set designs were nice, the rapport between the performers was good, and it was all in fun. It deserves the buzz it's getting.

Best Moment: There's a moment where Lacy Lennon is so extremely into the whole thing that she starts tearing at her own pubic hair. I bumped the score up a half point just for that alone.

Worst Moment: I can't find much info about this. Who directed it? Who played the step-parents?


NEXT TIME: How many times have I promised Secretary? If I said it again, would you believe me?

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Perspective - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Perspective
Year: 2019
Starring: Angela White, Seth Gamble, Abigail Mac, Alina Lopez, Michael Vegas
Director: Bree Mills
Synopsis: A psychological thriller about a couple in the final days of their marriage, as told from each of their perspectives. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It was nominated for, and won several XBIZ and AVN  awards.

NOTE: This review will contain SPOILERS. I suggest you to go watch Perspective and then come back to read this review. All you need to know is that I'm giving it a very good score and that I'm going to explain the reasons why, which venture into deep plot points. You have been warned. 

"I think everyone should taste her."

Not all media has something to say. Not all art has something to say. Sometimes art is just a product that asks the viewer what they see in it. I'm kind of a layman, so, I like it when art has something to say. Even porn can have something to say. I've said in various reviews that I like porn that has characters, and a plot, and tries to say something. Especially in this day and age, when porn is lambasted as a horribly misogynistic industry, full of  abuse and coercion, and completely catering toward men. Gone are the days of "Oh no, I can't pay the pizza delivery guy. Whatever shall I do?"

Enter Perspective a tale about a marriage coming undone. Daniel (Seth Gamble) has a loving wife, Jenny (Angela White), who happily gargles his dick with a smile on her face. The distrust begins when Jenny goes to meet an old friend for coffee and is gone for hours. Daniel points out a bouquet of roses that he didn't get for her. Gradually Daniel becomes more and more certain that his adoring wife is cheating and this drives him down a path of paranoia. In his mind, Jenny's a ball-busting bitch who is texting her lover and talks about her husband's sexual disappointments behind his back. He envisions Jenny with her paramour, and Angela White keeps eye contact with the camera. We, the audience, are Daniel. It's extremely effective.

Just a little nibble.
So, in a bid for control, he follows her one night to a club and watches as Jenny is sexually worshiped by both men and women. After that, Daniel finds a girl to hook up with at a bar, and she takes him home. As he fucks the girl from the bar, he keeps seeing Jenny mocking him, talking about the prowess of her mystery man, riling Daniel up until he finally snaps and slaps the bar girl across the face.

Then he leaves and goes home.

So far, in my mind, this movie is a 3. Good acting, especially by Angela White, good use of colour, and the set designers are having fun.
Things only escalate from here.

Then we shift to Jenny's point of view and replay the day. She is not cheating on her husband but in fact, Daniel is controlling and abusive. The man on the other end of  the texts is a Domestic Abuse Councillor.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Holy shit.

Holy shit I've never seen this in a porn before.

This is a message movie trojan horsed in a fucking porno!

Bree Mills you are a god damned genius!

The story plays on, with Daniel spitting coffee in her face and forcing himself on her in the closet. Angela White plays this scene really well. There's a hint of pleasure rekindled, like they both used to not be able to get enough of one another, but gradually Angela White is all Thousand Yard Stares and limp-limbed, and Jenny becomes just something for Daniel to own for his pleasure.

That orgy Daniel saw? A support group for other victims. A woman from the group named Lena (Abigail Mac) helps Jenny pack up her things and the two have sex in a very sweet, tender scene.
A moment of tenderness.

But Daniel finds out about Jenny's plans to leave him and things escalate from there.

The performances in this are all really good.

I was highly impressed by Angela White's acting in this. Much like Rebecca Brooke, White can communicate a purely through the light in her eyes and the tiny wrinkles in her brow line. She has this half-smirk that she uses like a knife. Whether she's being a seductive cheater, an abused spouse, terrified, aroused,  she doesn't have to say anything, her face does it all. She won AVN Best Leading Actress for this role.

Abigail Mac makes Lena's love and care for Jenny believable. I felt that Lena was a genuine person and a positive source of confidence and strength in Jenny's life.

Seth Gamble was good as Daniel but I felt he was a little too stiff and robotic. He wasn't scary enough. Although I did find it effective that all his abuse was mostly mental and emotional. He forced himself on Jenny, yes, but he never hit her. That made his presence frightening in a different way. He won both AVN and XBIZ Best Actor awards for his portrayal of Daniel so that's impressive.
A life line

I don't know what more I can say. This move was a pleasant surprise and, dare I say, important. This is yet another Bree Mills Porn for Women By Women, and it carries with it the ugly side of dysfunctional relationships without blaming outside influences like porn or media or male toxicity. Some people are just shit, and you can find people who understand your pain in the most unlikely of places.

Best Moment: When it's uncovered what the film is truly about.

Worst Moment: I'm starting to think I just don't enjoy orgies. Apparently I draw the line at four-somes. Five or more is just too many.


So, that's the end of  the roundup of XBIZ and AVN Awards. I'm planning on making it way more structured, organized and timely next year. But now that the awards have been handed out, let's see how each movie did, shall we?

AVN 2020 Awards:
  • Best All Girl Narrative Production
  • Best Girl-Girl Sex Scene,Aidra Fox/Kristen Scott
  • Best Non-Sex Performance - Wolf Hudson
  • Movie of the Year, 
  • All-Girl Release of the Year - Feature
XBIZ 2020 Awards:
  • Best Actress - All-Girl Release - Kristen Scott
  •  Best Cinematography
  • Best Editing, 
  • Best Screenplay
  • Best Supporting Actress - Kenna James 
  • Feature Movie of the Year

AVN 2020 Awards:
  • No Wins
XBIZ 2020 Awards:
  • No Wins

AVN 2020 Awards:
  • Best Makeup
  • Best Parody
  • Best Soundtrack
  • Best Special Effects
  • Best Transsexual Sex Scene - Aubrey Kate/Kenzie Taylor
XBIZ 2020 Awards
  • Best Art Direction
  • Best Special Effects

AVN 2020 Awards:
  • Best Art Direction
  • Best Cinematography
  • Best Director - Dramatic Production
  • Best Drama
  • Best Editing
  • Best Group Sex Scene - Manuel Ferrara/Angela White/Lena Paul/Alina Lopez/Autumn Falls
  • Best Supporting Actress - Maitland Ward
  • Best Three-Way Sex Scene (G/G/B) - Manuel Ferrara/Ivy Lebelle/Maitland Ward

XBIZ 2020 Awards:
  • Best Actress - Feature Movie -Maitland Ward
  • Best Sex Scene - Feature Movie - Manuel Ferrara/Ivy Lebelle/Maitland Ward

AVN 2020 Awards:
  • Best Dramatic Screenplay
  • Best Leading Actress - Angela White
  • Best Leading Actor - Seth Gamble

XBIZ 2020 Awards:
  • Best Actor - Feature Movie -  Seth Gamble

NEXT TIME: I promised time, and time again. This time I make good on my promise. Next week: Secretary.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Drive - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Drive
Year: 2019
Starring:  Angela White, Manuel Ferrara, Maitland Ward, Ivy Labelle
Director: Kayden Kross
Synopsis: Angela displays perfect execution in all aspects of her life until a chance encounter with a stranger makes her to face off against her own sexuality. - Via AdultDVDEmpire.com
Why it is Notable: It won for Best Sex Scene in a Feature Movie and Best Actress at 2020 XBIZ Awards.

"You won't stop me. I won't stop you, either."

I was not looking forward to this film. There is no reason a porno has to be over three hours long. I thought maybe Teenage Lesbian would be the exception that proves the rule.

To begin, the main character, Angela (Angela White), ventures into a fortune teller's space and is told a bunch of things, including that she's never had an orgasm. Offended, she tries to leave but the fortune teller (Maitland Ward) forces her to sit down on a hand mirror and look at herself while Maitland strokes her.
I think they're being too subtle with their message.

This is an interesting idea that I really liked. For a while now there's been a movement for women to explore their bodies over mirrors. To become comfortable with our own bodies, understand our anatomy, and despell shame. Having this idea sort of perverted felt kind of provocative some how. I liked it.

Maitland goes to a sort of sex club I guess where Angela's husband (Manuel Ferrara) is entertained by a stripper (Ivy Labelle) and Maitland. At first Maitland and Angela's husband pet each other while the camera focuses on the stripper. I like this, because we hear Maitland and the husband but see nothing. Eventually all three of them enjoy a threesome.

There's an interesting shot where Maitland and the stripper are fooling around and it's very much in the foreground but the shot is focused on a mirror in the background and it offers a more complete image. It's around then I start to wonder if mirrors are a motif of this movie. I don't think they are.

Why don't you do right, like some other men do?
The threesome is quite enthusiastic and all participants come across as insatiable. No one is sitting around doing nothing. This scene won XBiz's Best Sex Scene. I can see why. It's rough, raw, dirty and unrelenting. Unfortunately it lingers too long. I'm ready to move on about 7 minutes before it finishes itself off.

Later, Angela is found by Maitland again and the two watch two men (Small Hands, Owen Gray) fuck a girl (Brooklyn Gray) in an alley way. This scene starts out typical but what really makes it memorable is Brooklyn Gray spends most of the scene negging the guys, belittling them, and calling herself trash.

Angela goes to her therapist and recounts one time she let herself go, sexually. Jealous of an intern making moves on her husband back when they were still dating, she pretty much commands the two to fuck. She and her husband use the intern as a sex toy. Angela was very dominating and controlled the whole thing. Her presence is extremely intimidating.

Eventually Angela confronts Maitland and is told another truth. Then the movie spirals in to a world of metaphor and fleshy chaos.
Putting words into your mouth.

Orgies happen for like an hour and while it should be meaningful, given what the movie is trying to say, it's just too much. By this point, it all just comes across as sounds and movement. It's not titillating because nothing is given priority or importance. As it continues it just gets more and more depraved until the movie becomes basically a live action hentai with Angela White making real life ahegao faces as she begs for cum and tries to fuck her impulses to satisfaction.

The movie reminds me a lot of Wasteland but where Wasteland's intense orgy of depravity just went on for 20 minutes or so, it felt like it went on forever. These orgies are 4 times longer and feel hopelessly endless. But, I think if you like Wasteland, you'll find a kindred movie in Drive.
Meanwhile, in a Darren Aronofsky film...

The movie looks good, and I hate that it lost Best Art Direction to Captain Marvel XXX. It's stylish and has some basic but thematic editing tricks. There's a segment that's straight out of Requiem for a Dream and a lot of use of visual metaphor. If this movie had an hour or so shaved off it then it could have been really something interesting. It was trying to say something, and that matters, but it was just too indulgent for my liking.

But, I guess in the end, that was the whole point.

Best Moment: The sex scene with the intern.

Worst Moment: The final orgy scene.


NEXT TIME: The final XBiz Movie of the Year nominee and Bree Mills feature, Perspective.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Captain Marvel XXX - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Captain Marvel XXX
Year: 2019
Starring: Kenzie Taylor, Aubrey Kate, Ana Foxxx, Seth Gamble, Tyler Knight
Director: Axel Braun
Synopsis: While working on a mission, Vers aka Captain Marvel is abducted and used by two Skrulls. Vers escapes and after leaving the Skrulls ship in an escape pod, crash lands on Earth. - Via IMDB.com
Why it is Notable: It's up for Feature Movie of the Year. As I write this, this film has won best Art Direction and Best SFX at the 2020 XBIZ Awards.

"Oh yeah, give me that supreme intelligence" 

Do you ever have that feeling when you know something is not for you? For example: have you ever gone to McDonald's, saw the Play Place, and decided "That's not for me."

Or have you ever been to a poetry slam and after the third poem, your fingers sore from snapping, you realize "This isn't for me."

Have you ever been to a bar with a live band, saw the drum kit, and instinctively know "Yeah. that's not for me. But it is for somebody."

Captain Marvel XXX  is not for me.

I was a comic book girl. I had X-Men posters on my wall, I had the beautiful one of Gambit and Rogue next to my bed. I had a subscription to Wizard Magazine. One of my first searches on the Internet was X-Men. The other girls in my friends group and I would debate who Jean belonged with, Scott or Logan. We'd question who would win in a fight: Storm or Sarah Rainmaker from Gen13? Ariel Darkchylde or Sarah Pezzini? This was my pedigree.

I like the opening credits. They're heavily filtered and the imagery is fun. But then, the movie starts out making a bunch of comic book jokes and it annoys me. It's quippy and I can't get into the movie because they're not Carol Danvers and --whatever Jude Law's character's name was--fucking. It's two people in front of bad CGI in mediocre costumes fucking. I imagine people watching porn parodies actually want to have the characters they lust after and not a bunch of genre-savvy twerps.

Jude Law's Character mentions he put something on her neck to control her powers or energy or emotions or something. This is never brought up again.

So, Carol Danvers and Jude Law's Character fuck. It starts out well enough. She grinds on his face and that's nice. After that, she blows him with interesting technique but then it devolves into the most ridiculous BJ I've ever seen. She's full of terrible noises and sounds. This shifts to Anal for 20 minutes and it's about then that I start questioning my life choices.

She's captured by two Skrull, who she fucks, and everyone looks really bored about it. I considered using "Blblblblblkglkglkglk" for  the feature quote of this movie.

Carol Danvers escapes the Skrulls and crash lands on Earth, into a sex shop. She meets "Nick Furious" who is dressed like Jules from Pulp Fiction. I start taking private bets with myself when the movie is going to mention a Tasty Burger. Don't worry, it does.
Look out, we got some badass motherfuckers over here.

On that note, this movie is rife with reference 'humour'. The jokes are just references to other things, be they other movies, or Internet drama, or what have you. This reminds me of  Hyper LOL Fangirl fanfiction I used to read. This film comes across more like a Seltzer and Friedberg movie with actual porn.

To the movie's credit, there are two jokes that actually made me laugh. One laugh was a "Heh" and the other made me genuinely laugh out loud.

She blows Furious in a car and I'm tempted to watch something else. But I have a job to do and that would be wrong. But I do take a brief break to watch some pointless Youtube.

Breaking the Fourth Wall.
Carol Danvers gets knocked out and meets the Supreme Intelligence, played by Aubrey Kate. This is the first film I've seen with Aubrey Kate and she steals the scene. This is by far the best scene in the movie, sex scene or otherwise.

They visit a place from Carol's dreams where they meet a woman who calls herself Captain Marvel as well. They fuck and whoever comes first has to relinquish the title. I know Captain Marvel II won't win of course, but I am rooting for her. Captain Marvel II comes and unexpectedly squirts or pisses everywhere.

Captain Marvel II is snapped out of existence and Captain Marvel decides she has to stop The Snapper.

There's a time jump and Deadpool, Captain Marvel and Jean Grey fuck. The audio mix is so poor on my copy that all of Deadpool's quips are drowned out by the music of by Kenzie Taylor's stupid mouth noises. Once they're done fucking, Captain Marvel announces that she's finally at full power.

Wait, was that the plot of the movie? Sure. Whatever.

The biggest problem with this film is that, purely in my opinion, Kenzie Taylor is devoid of charisma. I found nothing about her charming. She made bad sounds and she was just sort of smarmy. Aubrey Kate and Anna Foxxx picked the movie up a bit with their presence but for me this is just a slog.
Oh Captain, my Captain.

There's an end credits song parodying the ballad from Deadpool 2, calling people out for claiming to watch porn for the plot when we're all just here for tits and ass. And, yeah, I kinda am here for something more than that. I need a story, I need characters. At the very least, I need good sex.

What I really, really don't understand is why this is up for best film. Are the bones that bare this year?

Also, there's no after credit scene. If you're gonna parody the MCU, do it properly.

I know, without a doubt, that this movie is not for me. But, it is for somebody. If you're that somebody, have all the fun in the world, enjoy!

Best Moment: The two measly jokes that made me laugh.

Worst Moment: The referential humour.


NEXT TIME:Though the awards have been given out already, Lilith is still exploring the Features of the Year. Next up, Drive.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Lost Love - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Lost Love
Year: 2019
Starring: Jessica Drake, Penny Pax, Kira Noir, Small Hands, Ryan Driller
Director: Brad Armstrong
Synopsis: Beth is blindsided by the death of her husband. Heartbroken and searching for answers, she joins a grief counseling group where she begins to bond with others who are dealing with their own loss. -Via AdultEmpire.com
Why it is Notable: It's nominated for XBIZ Film of The Year

"Miss me already?"

I've never lost a significant other due to death, but I've watched my mother struggle after the death of my father. I've watched one grandparent whither away after the death of their spouse. I've had uncles who die months after the deaths of their wives. I imagine losing the love of your life is one of the most difficult things we can endure. I was hoping to feel some of that desperate loss in this film.
Sets a good mood.

First off, I like how the movie starts just before the funeral. We're never told about how the death occurred and I like that. The circumstances didn't matter, the grief is what is supposed to matter. The title shot has good blocking, good use of negative space. It's strangely lonesome. It sets the mood it wants to set.

After the funeral, Beth imagines having sex with her husband, Eric. It's totally natural that she would do that, but it's very, very porn-y sex. It's full of "Oh yeah, right there," and squeaky sighs and blowjob lips. With each position change, the scene fades to a different shot and it really breaks the flow of the first sex scene.

Next, we see Beth's sister fuck her own husband. Penny Pax looks natural, with slight curves and natural breasts. She looks like a woman from a classical painting. She and her husband engage in actual condom prep. The editor clearly enjoyed this scene more. There's a better flow to it. Also Penny Pax comes across a fucking insatiable, and that's fun.

Beth walks around the city, ruminating on death and grief and in between shots her outfit changes from a blouse and skirt and high socks, to a sweater and pants, then back. At this point I'm convinced the editor either hates Beth or hates their job.

She lays on the floor next to one of her husbands suits and masturbates. Of all the marketing for this film, this is the idea that sold me. It is by far the best part of the film.
This is what we're all really here for. It's even on the movie poster.
Throughout the film, Beth's sister has been acting a little odd, a little standoffish and maybe too deep in grief. It lead me to think that maybe she and Eric had an affair. Anyway, Beth shares a moment in the cemetery with her sister, then they play Carpool Karaoke and hold hands.
Sister on sister bondage.

Beth goes to a grief meeting but doesn't speak her story because she isn't ready yet to share. She meets a woman who's character name I don't know but she's played by Jessie Lee so that's her name now. They go to a bar and are ignored by the waitress, then go to a junk yard. Jessie Lee tells Beth that this is her car and she was in a terrible accident and that she should seize every moment. They fuck.

It's possibly the most boring woman-on-woman sex scene I've seen in a while. Again, probably because it's so blatantly porny and devoid of emotion. Jessie Lee seems to be enjoying herself, so that's something to cling to.

Speaking of enjoying herself, Kira Noir is in this movie. She's part of the grief group and she goes into a bathroom to fuck another guy from the group. Once more she looks like she's having a genuinely good time. However, it grinds the movie to a halt. But a fun halt.
This scene basically writes itself.

Finally, Beth goes back to the cemetery and masturbates on the grave, begging to come. The scene is short and I wanted more. At the cemetery she meets a guy and brings him home. She makes him wear her husband's suit and they fuck while she's blindfolded with his tie. It's a hot idea, which I liked. Through this, in a way, Beth's journey with grief comes to an end and she finds closure. She attends the grief meeting one final time and comes to profound realizations.
SOMEone's read 50 Shades of Grey...
Realizations that break the movie and made me drop it an entire grade.

This movie's biggest downfall is the acting. The lead role of Beth should have been played by someone who is more real. I know Jessica Drake is very popular but I feel Penny Pax is more believable and emotes better. I think she would have been able to connect with the audience's mind more, and then Jessica be the aloof, quazi-mysterious sister character. What I wanted, nay, expected out of this movie is that one masturbation scene from Abigail Lesley is Back in Town, but for two and a half hours. I wanted all that raw emotion. I never thought I'd compare anything to Abigail Lesley, which I rated 1.5 out of 5, but here we are.

I wanted Georgina Spelvin, I wanted Rebecca Brooke, I wanted Annette Haven. I wanted to feel something and I just couldn't. This was as shallow as a dollar store sympathy card. I have no doubt that the creators meant for this movie to be taken seriously, that they thought they were saying something, or trading on a universal theme almost all of us can relate to, but when there was supposed to be real, genuine emotion, it was just lacking. I've seen good acting in porn before, or genuine connection between the performers. I know it's possible, I just didn't feel it here.

Too much sex, not enough love.

Best Moment: The love scene with the suit. That sort of scene is my everything

Worst Moment: The final time she attends the grief support meeting. Things come into focus and it's really bad.


NEXT TIME: We keep on going with our XBIZ and AVN award nominee viewing with Captain Marvel XXX.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Teenage Lesbian - Lilith Likes to Watch

This month, Lilith is going to watch recent porn that is nominated for XBIZ and AVN awards. There is no official title for this month, but that's what we're doing. Be current with me!

Title: Teenage Lesbian
Year: 2019
Starring: Kristen Scott, Kenna James, Aidra Fox, Kendra Spade
Director: Bree Mills
Synopsis: Set in the 1990s and told as a series of memories, TEENAGE LESBIAN is an emotional and uplifting look at an 18-year-old's final year of high school as she comes to terms with herself and her homosexuality. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: It is up for several XBIZ and AVN awards.

"Yeah you wish you got as much pussy as they do, fucker!"

I'm not sure if I have the optics to write about this movie. It's not exactly for me, you know? I'm a straight girl who grew up in the 90s. Everyone around me was exploring or questioning their sexuality, but I was always straight. Even so, I've always had an appreciation of the female form. I liked hearing my more daring friend's sexcapades. I liked being regaled with stories from my plantonic girl friends about the time they had threesomes.

I've always liked to watch.

I feel like this movie is important. If me, a lady who never questioned her sexuality could relate to this film, then I think it means something. I don't know I've ever seen an important porno before. More to the point, I'm not sure this is porn.

Teenage Lesbian is the semi-autobiographical story of writer/director Bree Mill's adolescence. Sam is a girl who's 18 years old and in her final year of high school. Everyone at school knows she's a lesbian, even if she's not officially out yet. She's bullied and beaten, and just tries to deal with it.

A girl named Nicole asks if Sam wants to be partners on a assignment and Sam agrees. While at Nicole's house, they fool around.

We see Nicole masturbating under the sheet but she's covered. We see nothing and it's even more hot in it's own way. Soon, the camera ventures under the sheet and we see exposed flesh. Laying next to Nicole, Sam's own hand ventures into her plain white cotton panties. Side by side the girls pleasure themselves, but the camera rests in such a way that Sam's panties hide everything, teasing  us by blocking out what we've already seen. There's no fake moans, no music, just silence, broken up by carefully quiet breathing
Sam and Nicole have a sleepover.

This is exactly what I think of when I think of porn made by women for women. It's up close and personal, none of that coy stuff, but it's somehow also respectful. There's such a genuine feel to the scene, it's remarkable.

This scene has a gradual build up, and eventually Sam goes down on Nicole. Nicole doesn't reciprocate, and it looks for a moment that she just used Sam, but then she suggests Sam stay for dinner. A nice gesture.

Sam and Nicole are friends for a while, but it's clear that Nicole likes guys and is oblivious to Sam's feelings.

Sam then goes to a party where her friend Matt is drunk and hanging all over Sam, asking her questions about being a lesbian. How did she know she was a lesbian? Is there a chance they'll ever be together. It was a subtly disturbing scene because Matt doesn't let her leave the conversation. He keeps her there under his own drunk power, against her wishes. I was very worried this was going to turn into a rape scene. Thankfully it doesn't.

At the party, Sam pretends to pass out on a couch and sees Matt tell two girls to kiss. She spies on it all. Matt passes out and the two girls make out. They realize she's there, probably fake-sleeping, and goad her, jokingly invite her to join in. They mock her then immediately eat each other out. Who's the real lesbian here?

This scene is more performative than the first sex scene. There's lots of giggling, and moaning, and porn acting. It was unquestionably a porn scene.

Sam then goes to a club where she meets a girl who thinks she's a guy. She eats out the girl, while the girl says she can't wait to suck "his" cock. Here is where I go off on a tangent.

The acting in this movie is exceptional. Most of the characters were believable and Sam, Meg, Sam's guy friend JC, they all feel like real people. Meg is enigmatic and fun and Sam is genuine and sympathetic. In the throes of eating out a girl, Sam's expression goes very What The Fuck when the girl announces she wants to suck cock.

After Sam reveals to the girl that Sam is also a girl, she meets Meg, who teaches her how lesbians have sex.


It is an amazing scene. Gentle, passionate, vulnerable, alluring, amazingly planned out. I don't know that I've ever seen a scene quite like it. This is when the movie grabbed my heart. In the context of the message of  the Sam/Meg scene, the party girls made way more sense. That is fake, that's the fantasy. This is real.

Newly educated, Sam gets the guts to ask Teresa, a girl she likes, out to see a movie and then suggests they date, but Teresa isn't into girls.
Personal grooming is important.

Meg drags Sam to a support group for queer teens and young adults. There she sees Sara, a girl from school.There's a beautiful fantasy scene consisting of four ladies from the support group and fun positions. The fantasy focuses mostly on Sara.
How Sam sees Meg and Sara.

I admit the movie sort of loses steam once Sara is introduced. She sort of inserts herself into Sam's life, and doesn't have much of a personality. Maybe if Sara was seen in school before her character introduction or something it could have worked better. But it's a small complaint.

Sam and Sara start dating, and the film ends with Sara giving Sam a nice birthday picnic fuck session.

Teenage Lesbian needs to win all the awards. Best All Male Gangbang? Teenage Lesbian. Best MILF scene? Teenage Lesbian.
Holy shit, Google...

If you're 18, and curious or confused, I highly suggest you watch this film. When I was growing up, we had Girl InterruptedFoxfire, Gia (Thank you, Angelina Jolie), But I'm a Cheerleader and Lost and Delirious. All movies I'd suggest to my queer friends but they were rejected because they had the Crazy Lesbian trope or were hard to find. All the other queer movies were about queer men or boys. It was slim pickings for us girls, even us girls who just like to watch.

In an interview, Kristen Scott, who plays Sam, says that porn is changing, that we once more want characters and stories. I hope to the heavens that she's right, that quality like this is a new direction.

Don't pass this by just because it's considered porn. This is gold.

Best Moment: The scene where Meg teaches Sam how to have lesbian sex.

Worst Moment: There's not really a bad moment. Maybe any scene that has to do with the parents? Their acting isn't the best.


NEXT TIME: We continue looking at the AVN and XBIZ nominations with Lost Love.