Suicide Squad XXX - Lilith Likes to Watch

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Title: Suicide Squad XXX
Year: 2016

Starring: Kleio Valentien, Asa Akira, Seth Gamble, Tommy Pistol, Owen Gray

Director: Axel Braun

Synopsis: Suicide Squad XXX: An Axel Braun Parody delivers a clever story, steamy hot sex scenes, and a mind-blowing performance by Best Actor winner Tommy Pistol as The Joker. - Via Adult Empire

Lilith's Notes: The new Suicide Squad movie just came out so might as well see what the old version inspired.

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"I say let's suit up and commit suicide, WOOHOO!"

A few reviews back, I eschewed reviewing the Marvel Black Widow porn parody in favour of an artsy fever-dream also called The Black Widow. Mostly because I had no interest in the MCU Black Widow movie at all. Natasha is one of those characters in the MCU I just …forget exists. Along with Bucky, Clint, Rhodes, Captain Marvel and Happy. Yes, really.

Another reason was that I had stated that parodies were touch and go for me; I enjoyed The Breakfast Club XXX, A Clockwork Orgy, and Flesh Gordon, but couldn't stand Captain Marvel XXX.

So, with the release of the new James Gunn Suicide Squad movie, I got curious, and snooped around to see what the porn equivalent was. Of course Axel Braun was the one who tackled it. I expected nothing less.

The thing that made me give this a shot was the cast. Tommy Pistol as the Joker? Owen Gray doing fucking anything (I have a type, what can I say?), Asa Akira as Katana? Sounds fun.

Present Lilith should have listened to Past Lilith. Past Lilith is now being a smug little shit.

My first complaint was only minutes in. Harley (Kleio Valentien) wakes up in a white room, and Katana (Asa Akira) is there with her. Harley quips by calling Katana a witch and, of course, that's a better joke for Enchantress. Probably a silly quibble but if you're gonna do this, do this right, yaknow?

Anyway, they fuck for 20 minutes. I realize "It's so porny" can be considered a ridiculous claim but, like, really. It's all silly poses and over the top moaning. Barely any breasts squished together, and barely 30 seconds of scissoring.

After they're finished, Amanda Waller (Nyomi Banxx) walks in with the rest of the squad and info dumps about the mission, to break out Inmate Zero from Arkham Asylum. First they have to recruit Enchantress.

They find Enchantress (Riley Steele) but her magic is dormant, and only a red blooded male can awaken it, so Captain Boomerang (Seth Gamble) fucks her. To his credit, Seth Gamble seems to be quite enjoying his role as Captain Boomerang. In the non-sex scenes he embraces the ridiculousness. Enchantress, however, is lackluster. She doesn't have any of the over the top belly-dancing sway that was featured in the original film. That was silly and endlessly mocked in reviews. It's rife for parody. Or maybe could have even been made sexy.

Enchantress' powers awaken and she uses them to sneak the Squad into Arkham. Killer Frost (Anna Bell Peaks) finds both Poison Ivy (Katy Kiss) and The Riddler (Owen Gray) and it's the best scene in the movie. Again, I know what I like. But even now I have a problem with the scene. Kleio Valentien has, in real life, what appears to be a Poison Ivy tattoo. Harley/Ivy is a big ship in the DC comics fandom. Harley should have been fucking them instead of Killer Frost. She could have traded wits with The Riddler, maybe humiliated him, and banged Ivy and hell of a lot of fanboys and fangirls would have been pleased. Give the people what they want.

Katana and Deadshot (Lexington Steele) fuck and the less said about that, the better.

Anyway, Harley finds Inmate Zero who is, of course, The Joker.

Poor Tommy Pistol. This could have been so good, but it goes from "LOL Damaged!" Joker to...mentally deficient Joker. Something about it is just wrong. It's sad because you can see Tommy Pistol is really, really trying.

Batman (Charles Dera) shows up in an ill-fitting cowl that makes him look like a dad on Halloween. He and Joker double-team Harley for a while. It's a lively scene, I suppose, that includes biting, squirting, and some light penis torment.

The big problem with this parody is that it's simply a collection of scenes with no real love for the source material. It's just a bunch of people in fairly well done costumes fucking around. Both literally and figuratively. I liked A Clockwork Orgy and The Breakfast Club XXX because they obviously knew what jokes to make and how to show a certain kind of reverence to the film they used for inspiration.

Having seen multiple films based off the Suicide Squad franchise I can safely say the best Suicide Squad film is Assault on Arkham. You know I'm right.

Best Moment: The Riddler/Killer Frost/Poison Ivy scene.


Worst Moment: The Katana/Deadshot sex scene. It was very porny and constantly swapped between vaginal to anal to vaginal and back.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2/5

Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.