The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed - Lilith Likes to Watch

---

Title: The Feeling That the Time for Doing Something Has Passed
Year: 2023

Starring: Joanna Arnow, Scott Cohen, Babak Tafti

Director: Joanna Arnow

Synopsis: A mosaic-style comedy following the life of a woman as time passes in her long-term casual BDSM relationship, low-level corporate job, and quarrelsome Jewish family. - via Letterboxd.com

Lilith's Notes: I thought this would be much funnier and enlightening.

Watch Now: Amazon

---

"In theory I like it, but in practice I might need aftercare."

Welcome back to a fresh new year of Lilith Likes to Watch. Looking around, it seems that so far, 2026 is just second verse, same as the first. Probably even more dire. Great.

Maybe we should try and start this year of reviews with something fun, snarky and perhaps uplifting?

Too bad that isn’t what we have on the docket for tonight. Instead of fun we have something else…

We have twee.

My goodness how I hate twee. Now, I suppose twee can be defined in many different ways. In this case I think the best definition is quirky deadpan nihilism. Even though everything in this movie is sardonic and dry, it's all delivered with an air of eau d’Lena Dunham. It wants to be April from Parks and Rec, or Fleabag, but it fails on every level.

The movie, by the way, is The Feeling That The Time for Doing Something Has Passed, and is about Ann (played by Joanna Arnow, who also wrote and directed this.), a woman in her early 30s who enjoys engaging in BDSM relationships, specifically in the submissive role, yet finds her partner unsatisfying. While she navigates her sexual adventures, she also has to deal with aging parents that just don’t get her, and a bland office job. Fed up by her current dom Allan (Played by Scott Cohen), who is clearly disinterested in her, Ann pursues other potential masters, which is supposed to result in biting commentary about modern dating I guess, but it’s just… mundane.

Strangely, for a good chunk of the film it had me. Ann wasn’t warm, but she wasn’t incompetent or anything, and the film really highlighted the frustrations of knowing what a person might confidently desire in a relationship, and no one can do it right. Imagine being a sub and all the potential Masters you meet sneer at aftercare and just use you in ways that, while you consent to them, just don’t flip that Get You Off switch. Boredom is Hell.

When Ann meets Chris (played by Babak Tafti), the two bond over film, and after a while begin a sexual relationship. She confesses to him her desires and at first he is reserved and reluctant, but gradually they start to adopt more BDSM play into their relationship. Good for Ann. Chris, too! They really grew as people and brought the best out of each other. Oh, to hear them laugh together.

This movie was a three out of five, but that ending completely ruined every shred of goodwill it had harvested up until that point.

In the end, which yes, I am going to spoil, Ann goes back to her apathetic, dull, Zionist former master Allan, who cares so little about her that he can’t even remember where she went to college. Because I guess old habits die hard, maybe?

The narrative goes out of its way to show that she is, of her own accord, becoming more proactive at work, communicating more with her parents, and introducing someone into her way of life. Putting in effort into growing and becoming a more well-rounded person. Everything the viewer is shown suggests she enjoys this new phase in her life, then just smash cut to “Eh, this is easy.”

Were I feeling charitable, I might agree that it’s, like, just how real life is sometimes, man. But I’m not feeling charitable. Either give me scenes of it not working out between Ann and Chris, or make Allan work to be her Master again, or give me a happy, healthy, BDSMful ending.

You haven’t earned this brand of so-real-it-hurts winking at the camera.

Highlight: Kage and I laughed 3 times. Good, big laughs. I can only remember one joke.

Lowlight: That ending just ruined everything.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2/5

Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.