Beauty and the Beast - Lilith Likes to Watch Monster Lover May 2022

---

Title: Beauty and the Beast
Year: 1988

Starring: Tracy Adams, John Leslie

Director: Paul Thomas

Synopsis: She's got a thing for hairy guys; he's got a thing for gorgeous women. Together, there's a match made in Heaven. Anything but "Grimm" Beauty And The Beast boasts the kind of high production values and sensitive eroticism that today's discriminating viewers demand. You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll get aroused! And to think a movie this hot is also perfect for couples! Why, it's a fairy tale come true! - Via Adult Empire

Lilith's Notes: Winner of AVN Best Video Feature.

---

"I guess sometimes being a self-sacrificing, guilt-ridden ninny pays off."

The 80s sure were distinct weren't they? You can look at all the teased, feathered, permed hair and the bright lipstick against a tanned face and hear the synth music and just know where in time you are.

Beauty and the Beast is a sexy retelling of the classic fairy-tale. We all know this story, so I won't bother with a synopsis. Let's get to the content shall we?

I'm sorry to say this because it feels cruel but none of the non-Beast performers in this are good looking. Maybe it's the perms, or the standard definition quality of the film but I just found this really ugly. None of the human on human sex was hot. Everyone had a ridiculous patina of sweat coating their body and it was very unappealing.

But at the same time, they cared about this production. They have costumes, and sets, and the performers are trying their level best to act. It just all feels like a dirty version of a public access Masterpiece Theatre.

And then there's the Beast (Played by John Leslie). They tried. They really did. The makeup is a full-head prosthetic with relatively well hidden seams. His horns look like overgrown nipples and should have been removed or replaced with different horns, like goat horns or something. There are no other beastial qualities to him. No hairy hands, no claws, no tail that I could tell. But they knew he needed to be the linchpin of the film. They knew what we were all here for.

The scene between The Beast and Beauty (Played by Tracy Adams) is by far the highlight of the film. It's nothing special but it gives us what we want well enough.

The Beast is played as gentle and sympathetic but also rather condescending. John Leslie isn't the best at improv and tends to repeat himself to fill the silence and to keep a scene going when it should have cut far sooner.

Did I mention this movie has jokes? Well, it tries. Along with breaking the fourth wall. There was one joke that made me laugh, but then it went on too long. Then they repeated it again later.

There was also a very 80s era "joke" where a servant (Played by Tom Byron) lies and claims to be the Beast's son to get laid. Revenge of the Nerds would be proud.

The servant has real Tommy Pistol energy and if this had a modern remake I could see him playing that part.

In fact, I really wouldn't mind a remake of this. There is a part 2, but we have to wait until next year to hunt it down.

Best Moment: The sex scene between Beauty and The Beast


Worst Moment: The sound was terrible. The background music was far too loud and inappropriate and the dialog was almost impossible to hear half the time.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2.5/5

Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.