Debbie Does Dallas - Lilith Likes to Watch Famous February 2022
Title: Debbie Does Dallas
Year: 1978
Starring: Bambi Woods,
Director: Jim Clark
Synopsis: Sweet, virginal Debbie wants to head to Texas to claim her spot on the "Cowgirl" cheerleading squad. But the trip costs money and her parents aren't willing to help. With the aid of her cheerleading girlfriends, they devise a plan to raise the funds themselves. Initially, they all take odd jobs. However, they quickly discover there's a lot more money to be made by baring their bodies and providing sexual favors for horny men. - via AdultEmpire.com
Lilith's Notes: One of the top grossing pornos of all time.
"Whatever we can't give you we make up in enthusiasm."
Welcome to 2022! We’ve made it into another year and after a month-long break to recharge, I’m back with an entirely new theme month.
Allow me to introduce you, dear reader, to Famous February. This month we’re reviewing four notoriously famous porno flicks. I know you’ve absolutely heard of at least two of these, maybe three, and perhaps you’re so cultured you know all four. Have you seen them all? Join us this month and find out.
Let’s begin with Debbie Does Dallas.
If I've learned anything from writing erotic stories it's that there is a niche for almost anything. One has but to fill it. Do I take that lesson to heart? Well, this review isn't about me. It's about a young woman named Debbie and her cheerleader friends as they try to raise an indeterminate sum of money to go to Dallas so Debbie can become a Dallas cheerleader.
Debbie Does Dallas is a very odd duck. Bambi Woods is cute, sure, and this film is complete old guy who peaked in high-school wish fulfillment but this is one of the highest grossing pornos of all time? Old men who peaked in high-school must be numerous indeed. So much so, that the first name in the credits is Richard Balla. You, too, an be R. Balla, mister-man!
Bambi Woods, who is made up of approximately 65 percent pure cocaine, plays Debbie, a young woman with big dreams. When she asks Mr. Greenfield (Played by the ever important Richard Balla) for a job, he agrees, but pays her more to see, touch, and taste her boobies. Debbie tells the other girls they can raise much more money with their bodies than their hard work, and so the team collectively agree to engage in the world’s oldest profession.
It’s strange because the ladies discuss it frankly and openly. It almost, almost comes across as a moment of empowerment but there’s just something so exploitative about it in practice.
Along the way, the ladies decide their boyfriends get nothing for free, and the jocks sure don’t like that.
The real first sex scene features two random girls and guys and they fuck in a gross looking, communal shower. It’s awkward and unsexy and all I can think about is how much bacteria and nail fungus must be swimming around. The tile is a dingy colour of grey-blue and I imagine it’s scratching into the performer’s skin and the whole thing gives me the heebie jeebies. Not a great start.
Donna (Played by Merle Michaels) gives her boyfriend,(Played by Herschel Savage), a blowjob, and the scene is fine, but nothing special. It ends with the principal (Played by Jake Teague) finding them, and spanking the young lady. It’s fine. It might even be a small highlight of the film.
Another girl, Roberta, (Played by Christie Ford), gets a job at Mr. Hardwick’s candle shop and when Mrs. Hardwick (Played by Robin Byrd), catches her masturbating, she and Mr. Hardwick (Played by Eric Edwards) have sex with her. It feels kind of coercive and Roberta seems reluctant. It’s uncomfortable, again. And, they never discussed payment before hand! Did they just get a freebie?
Two other girls, Annie (played by Jenny Cole) and Rikki (Played by Rikki O’Neal), wash the car of Mr. Bradly (Played by David Pierce) and then get paid to service him as well. They settle on ten dollars and I’m left questioning, is it ten dollars each? Or are they each five bucks? Also, it’s a flat rate, no matter what Mr. Bradly does to them. They really need to price things better.
Also, I am annoyed because Rikki is so pretty. She too, has that girl next door quality, but with a touch of Natalie Portman. I wish she had played Debbie. But, guys like the blonde bimbo I guess.
More girls fuck more guys and finally Debbie goes all the way with Mr. Greenfield. When it’s over she passes out and again it’s uncomfortable. She doesn’t look satisfied, she looks defeated. And we never find out if she and her friends raised enough money for her to reach her dreams.
This film doesn’t have the acting of Terri Hall, or the script of The Devil in Miss Jones, or the comedy of The Opening of Misty Beethoven. It’s notorious for the legal mires it clambered through. The mob had a piece of this pie, the colleges at which it was filmed were embarrassed, and the Dallas Cheerleaders sued the production for trademark infringement. All these sexy imbroglios made Debbie Does Dallas one of the highest grossing pornos of all time. All press is good press.
Nothing so high can land delicately, and Bambi Woods disappeared from the public eye, along with a lot of the other women from this film. Some say Bambi Woods is dead, some say she’s left the sleazy porn life behind, and changed her name. Wherever she is I do hope she and the other women in the film are well, and happy.
As a chaser, I also watched the documentary The Dark Side of Porn: Debbie Does Dallas Uncovered, but that mostly focuses on the dangers of being an FBI agent who goes undercover in the mob. It felt irrelevant. Just to be completely certain I wasn’t overlooking something, I also read an article by The Rialto Report about the history of the film.
The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders won their court case, and the colleges moved on.
I sit here, digest what I watched, and I still don’t see what’s so great about this film. Especially when I put it up alongside it’s contemporaries.
But, then, I’m not an old guy who peaked in high-school.
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