The Voyeurs - Lilith Likes to Watch

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Title:The Voyeurs
Year: 2021

Starring: Sydney Sweeney, Justice Smith, Ben Hardy, Natasha Liu Bordizzo

Director: Michael Mohan

Synopsis: Pippa and Thomas move into their dream apartment. They notice that their windows look directly into the apartment opposite - inviting them to witness the volatile relationship of the attractive couple across the street. But when they attempt to anonymously intercede in their lives, they unwittingly set in motion a chain of events leading to deadly consequences. - Via Letterboxd

Lilith's Notes: It's an Amazon Original erotic psycho thriller. How could I not?

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"Keep watching"

Sometimes, if we're good, the stars will align and we're given a gift from the universe. This month is the third anniversary of Lilith Likes to Watch. I had laid out my reviews for September, only to happily rearrange everything because Amazon released an erotic thriller called The Voyeurs. I must have been very good because the universe dropped a thematically apt steaming pile of garbage right in front of me at the best possible moment.

Yes, this movie is hot trash.

Pippa (Sydney Sweeney) and Thomas (Justice Smith) move into a loft in Montreal, Canada. They soon discover that, through the huge picture frame windows, they can see directly into the apartment across the street. Seb (Ben Hardy) is a photographer and he and his wife Julia (Natasha Liu Bordizzo) at first seem like a hot couple very much in love, but the more that's seen, the more concerned Pippa and Thomas become. It looks like Seb is unfaithful, and fucking his models.

Early in the movie, it's established that Thomas was a punk musician party guy and Pippa was a college girl but Thomas is the biggest dork I've seen in a while. He's overly cautious, health-conscious, wears nerd glasses and sweaters. 

The first time they watch Seb and Julia, they, especially Thomas, has this really bad "My friends think I'm hilarious!" running commentary. It wasn't funny, clever or snarky. It wasn't even third-tier MST3K material. It was like watching the movie with audio description for the hearing impaired turned on.

Speaking of audio...

Pippa and Thomas tell their friends about what they've been watching, and lament they can't hear the conversations and they devise a plan to put a microphone in Seb and Julie's apartment. Pippa and Thomas infiltrate a Halloween party Seb and Julia are throwing and plant the bug. Seb is dressed as a satyr and somehow manages to make it unsexy, despite trying very hard to do the opposite. Everyone in this movie is an insufferable piece of shit. They watch, and listen to Seb gaslight the hell out of Julie in truly disgusting ways. After that, Thomas says it's enough. It should have been enough before you bugged their fucking apartment, dude. But, Pippa can't stop, and sneaks peeks alone at night, lusting over Seb. Through happenstance, she strikes up a friendship with Julia and it's the best relationship in the film until Pippa fucks everything up by telling Julia about Seb's infidelity. From there, things spin out of Pippa's control. 

There's no sense of gradual escalation. Everything is on level ten all the time. One second our heroes decide to stop watching, and the next, Thomas is lamenting that he's "not enough" for Pippa. Since when? You two agreed to do weird shit and yet you're all flustered when weird shit happens. I don't believe for a second you were ever as hard core as you claim to be. You crash someone's party and a photographer wants to photograph you, so he poses you all artfully and you're all "What the fuck was that?" Really? Thomas you are such a dweeb.

The best scene in the movie, by far, is the scene where they're watching Seb fuck one of his models, while Thomas fucks Pippa from behind. He comes too quickly though and Pippa is left unsatisfied. Maybe if you cared more about her pleasure you might be enough for her, Thomas!

Otherwise, this movie is not pretty, or particularly interesting to look at. The apartment set is nice and I would kill to live in a place like that. Also, I love how the font on the poster reads like a romance novel cover.

Save for that one couch scene, the sex isn't very hot. It was all sort of  hollow. Like someone filming something thinking it was sexy but for some reason it misses the mark.

This movie wears its inspiration on its sleeve. Not only is this movie a blatant homage to Hitchcock, especially Rear Window, Someone makes a Gone Girl and Doogie Howser M.D. reference and these people are way too young to know who Doogie Howser was. If anything they'd know Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stintson from How I Met Your Mother. The Gone Girl shout out is a nod to how twisty this flick is going to get.

In the final third of the movie, Pippa sees fliers for Seb's art exhibit. She's shown getting all dressed up, presumably to attend the exhibit but no, instead she's at a fancy restaurant with her friend, who then comforts her about recent relationship woes, deflects Pippa's responsibility for her actions and convinces her to go to the gallery. That wasn't already her intention? What a needless fucking scene.

Everyone in this movie is an enabling, manipulative piece of human waste. There's no one to root for, the only two people who have any chemistry are Pippa and Julia, until they don't and the dialog is really, really boiler plate.

Ultimately, this movie tries to tout a message about reality television, parasocial relationships and what is real, versus what is a manufactured story line. Unfortunately the characters are are far too detestable to want to keep watching.

And I love watching.

Best Moment: The sex scene between Pippa and Thomas while they watch Seb fuck some random model.

Worst Moment: The scene with Pippa and her friend in the restaurant before going to the art show. I let out an audible "...what...". It was the final straw that broke my brain.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2/5

Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.