Candy Stripers - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Candy Stripers
Starring: Amber Hunt, Chris Cassidy, Sharon Thorpe
Director: Bob Chinn
Synopsis: Sexual adventures of nurses' helpers in a hospital. - Via IMDB.
Lilith's Notes: The final on screen appearance of prolific porn actress Sharon Thorpe.

"Shots are a pain in the ass."

By the time you read this, I will have graciously accepted my second Covid vaccine, so, as with the first round of vaccination, I selected a medical themed porno to celebrate. I should have picked something better.

The movie starts with a couple having sex. She's one of three candy stripers, young ladies who gives magazines or treats to patients in hospitals. And he's a doctor. They enjoy their pre-workday intimacy, then head for the hospital.

At the hospital, the boss, named Sarge (Played by Sharon Thorpe), complains that one of the ladies is missing. She is found in a closet, giving sub-par head to a doctor. Thus begins the hospital work-shift, where they tend to patient's "needs".

All three candy striper girls are blonde and interchangeable. Except for the one lady who didn't seem to have any eyebrows which I found quite distracting. The sex was dispassionate, the guys soft and the ladies bored. Oh, and did I mention there's fisting in this movie? Since that's not my thing at all, I let my eyes glaze over and contemplated the mere existence of porno theme songs. Who writes them? Who performs them? How big of a porno do you have to be to get your own theme song? Someone who's not me should really do a deep dive into this mystery.

Yes, the girls are interchangeable, yes, most the jokes don't land, yes, the oral is the typical bare-minimum tongue action because clearly no one likes going down on anyone, but this films biggest crime is that none of the ladies come! They have entire hands shoved into their orifices and they don't even get so much as a quiver. That's a tragedy.

The movie culminates into an orgy which is fine. Not bad as far as orgies go and it begins with a well-executed aerial shot of the party-goers closing in on the now super-horny Sarge. The orgy incorporates the use of a sling, so that's fun.

I got the distinct impression that no one wanted to be there, which meant I didn't want to be there. Overall, the entire thing was dull and trite. But, you know what they say: a bird in the fist is worth two in the bush.

Best Moment: That one aerial shot at the start of the orgy.

Worst Moment: Other than the fisting, because that just comes down to kinks, I would say how none of the ladies get to orgasm.


Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.