Lilith Likes to Watch - The Loin King (AKA The Lion King XXX)
We all know why we're here. Let's not even pretend like we're not. We're all here to watch evil uncle "Screw" fuck "Na-Na".
Spoilers, he doesn't. In fact, the Scar surrogate doesn't get any lines. He stand there, wrings his hands evilly, then is never seen again. That is such a wasted opportunity.
Well, what about the fact that, technically, Sinba and Na-Na are half siblings? Because that's how lions do?
Nope. None of that is mentioned either.
Now that's out of the way, what about the rest of the film?
Well, it's a really weird viewing experience. It has an Elton John parody character singing a Circle of Life parody, where all the animals gather to watch their prince fuck. Screw has the king killed in 3 seconds and really terrible green-screen, then Tibone and Poonba invite Sinba to jizz on their tits. Then Na-Na finds him and they fuck for 25 minutes.
So, how many characters fuck in this porno?
Two. Sinba and Na-Na. Sinba never cums all over Tibone and Poonba, despite repeated invitations to do so. Screw never seduces or coercers Na-Na, or anyone else to fuck. No one offers to make Sinba feel better with their pussy to help him get over his mourning. Everything felt "I dunno, good enough I guess."
Obviously the costumes are pathetic, which, fine, we're laughing with them, not at them. There are cursory bones thrown out to furries in this, acknowledging that the furry crowd should and would love this, but really, no self-respecting furry would enjoy these bargain bin costumes.
And, they'd all be wankin' it to Uncle Screw anyway.
The songs are pretty creative, but everything is dubbed and it's really weird. They gave Sinba a young voice that doesn't match his age or his speaking voice. It's unsettling.
But it's not all bad. Na-Na and Sinba have pretty good chemistry. Na-Na is all smiles and giggles and seems to be really enjoying herself. There's a lot of gagging when she deep throats, which isn't my sort of thing but she's enthusiastic, moving from one position to the next, and moaning praise and encouragements to her partner. Also, there was no anal, which I really appreciated.
Tibone is very cute, with bright eyes and a big smile. Sinba should have cum on her ta-tas. She was asking for it.
Finally, there's one joke that made me lose my shit. There's a character named Jeff the Bush Snake. It's Na-Na's ex, he is a snake. The costume is a man in a black t-shirt that says "Look at Me, I'm a Snake".
I love it.
All in all, what I liked, I really liked, but there's way too much missed opportunity.
You can watch the entire film below.
LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5
NEXT TIME: Next time, as I promised, Threesome.