Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Lilith Likes to Watch - A Patriotic Double Feature! Exotica and Spirit of Seventy-Sex

It's Canada's birthday! It's America's birthday! Let's do a patriotic double feature!



Title: Exotica
Year: 1994
Starring: Mia Krishner, Elias Koteas, Bruce Greenwood
Director: Atom Egoyan
Synopsis: A man plagued by neuroses frequents the club, Exotica, trying to find solace - but even there his past hides among him. - Via IMDB
Why it is Notable: Mainstream Canadian erotic thriller that won AVN awards.

"Exotica is here to entertain, to offer amusement, not to heal. There are other places for that."

I'm putting a moratorium on the term "Erotic Thriller" until further notice. Basic Instinct, this is not. I'm not even a fan of Basic Instinct but at least that movie had an actual erotic scene with genuine tension.

So apparently this movie received mounds of accolades back in the day. It even won some AVNs.

Why?

There's nothing here. Francis suffered a tragic loss and is obsessed with 18 year old Christina, a dancer at the night club Exotica. Elias Koteas is also obsessed with Christina. I do not know why. Christina does the worst, least-sexy strip teas ever to Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows" because my country has Canadian Content laws.

Everyone is one note, wooden, or talks older than their age. Nothing is sexy.

Nothing is pretty. Nothing is visually interesting even in a sleezy, neon way. It all looks cheap, but not in a dirty way, in a "Shit we spent all our money on craft services. How are we going to dress the set?" sort of way.

The plot is chopped up just for the sake of seeming mysterious, but instead it just makes the plot seem all over the place. It's like an extremely boring episode of Twin Peaks.

The ending is a go-nowhere dead end.

For fuck's sake, it made me want to rewatch Dancing at the Blue Iguana and Flashdance. Both of these movies have way more going for them.

The only reason to even watch this movie is for Elias Koteas, but even he isn't enough to keep things interesting.

Canada, we can do better than this.

LILITH'S SCORE: 1.5/5





Title: Spirit of Seventy-Sex
Year: 1976
Starring: Annette Haven, John Holms
Director: Stu Segall
Synopsis:  it is a tongue-in-cheek look at the sex lives of the Founding Fathers, including George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and Captain John Smith. - Via Wikipedia
Why it is Notable: Released during the Golden Age of Porn on America's Bicentential.

"Oh my, such a pretty beaver, I think we'll make that of Oregon some day."

I'm Canadian. I expect a lot of this movie went over my head.

This is a period piece taking place just after the American Revolution. Annette Haven is stunning, as always, as Martha Washington. She feeds chickens and then has some outdoor sex with George Washington.

Then we cut to two other people who have sex in a cabin.

Then Benjamin Franklin introduces his new invention, The Vibrating Dildo, to a woman.

Then John Smith fucks a black chick in a scene were you can tell it's straining itself not to be problematic.

Then sisters fuck in a barn, then one sister fucks 3 guys at once, then John and Martha fuck again.

I don't know what to say. Not only did a lot of jokes and references likely pass me by, but...yep, that was sex, all right.

It was pretty good sex, with a lot of focus on oral, and a fun lesbian scene. But, with the exception of the foursome, there was nothing especially creative. Then again, the film only ran 65 minutes long so it's not like it dragged on. It got it's point across, had some wit in the dialog, then moved along.

Still, all I really wanted was Martha Washington just going around fucking everybody. Annette Haven almost always steals any movie she's in. I would have been satisfied if it was just her fucking the day away.

Anyway, happy birthday, Canada and America. Try not to blow up or burn away, okay?

LILITH'S SCORE: 2/5

NEXT TIME: We're moving to a fortnightly schedule, meaning there will be a review every second Tuesday now. Next time, we delve into French erotica with the film Q aka Desire.



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