Under the Bed - Lilith Likes to Watch Halloween Trick & Treat IV
Title: Under the Bed Vol 1 & 2
Year: 2019
Starring:Emma Hix, Lacy Lennon, Bree Daniels, Alina Lopez, Angela White
Director: Fred August, Joanna Angel, Eric Falardeau, Bree Mills
Synopsis: Four horror-inspired episodes from four different directors, blending eerie atmosphere and disturbingly sexy encounters. Don't scream... too loud. - Via Youtube.
Lilith's Notes: It was nominated for AVN Grand Reel Award as well as XBIZ's Vignette Series of the Year.
Under the Bed gives 4 creepy, sexy tales by a selection of big name writers and directors known throughout the porn landscape. Right away, before even the intro starts, each episode begins with a few clips, which results in spoilers. Nothing's a surprise. I already know what I'm going to see. That robs each episode of its scares and dulls the impact of the series as a whole. Whoever decided to do that really should have thought again.
Anyway, on to the first vignette…
WITHIN
"You don't have to hide. At least, not from me."Gwen, played by Emma Hix, and Luna, played by Emily Willis are two friends vacationing in a cabin. While they watch a horror movie during a storm, the power goes out. How will they pass the time? Sex of course. Little do they know there's a crazy man, played by Michael Vegas, watching them.
This story is pretty basic for the first half, and the writing is very expository, and the acting is typical stilted porn acting. The camera work is good and I enjoyed the lightning and use of colour. I enjoy thunderstorm atmosphere in sexy scenes so that's an easy win for this story. But there was an annoying stylistic choice during the second half of the episode where the movie puts whoever's speaking in focus, then blurs out everything else. It became distracting after about 30 seconds.
The performers look good together, the way Emma Hix rolls her pelvis against her partner's tongue is highly enjoyable to watch.
And then the crazy man walks in on the scene.
It turns out Gwen is some sort of monster, same as the man. She ate her friend, and this whole vacation was a ploy for a meal. Once she's done explaining, he comes to her and they fuck. Once he gets in on the action it is spastic, primal and unforgiving. It really fucking works. Sometimes unrelenting fucking is just a slog but these two have the bestial energy that makes it work in a way the other vignettes fail. I was not bored, in fact, I was quite glad they found each other. Even monsters need someone.
Best Moment: I liked the twist. The gore effects were quite good, too.
Worst Moment: The dialog was pretty bad.
Lilith's Score: 3/ 5
THE NIGHT THEY CAME FOR LACY
"Well, you did always want me to get along with your friends"
After Lacy and her friends get in a car accident, leaving only Lacy alive, her friends rise from their graves to exact sexy revenge.
I'll be quick with this one. The acting is good. Joanna Angel can play an extremely believable bitch. Everyone looks like they're enjoying themselves and they riff off each other well. This movie also features a cameo from the house from the films Adelaide and The Path to Forgiveness.
The actual car crash scene, while brief and simple, was quite well done. The lighting and timing worked and it got the point across. It was the best moment in the whole episode.
That's about all the good I can say about this one.
The costuming is terrible. It implies they were buried in the same clothes they got in the accident in. I guess no one involved in this episode had ever been to an open casket funeral.
While the acting is good, the sex is extremely loud and porny. It wasn't enjoyable at all. I found myself comparing it to the first orgy in Three Cheers for Satan, but that one worked. I was never bored there and the sound wasn't fucking obnoxious. Here, everyone is grunting and yelling and wailing "oh yeah, fuck yeah", even when they aren't being touched. I hate that shit. I get that they're trying to be zombies but it doesn’t work.
This was a porn version of an Adam Sandler movie. Joanna Angel just made this as an excuse to hang out with all her friends.
Best Moment: The car crash scene.
Worst Moment: The actual fucking. Please, please shut up.
Lilith's Score: 1.5/5
THE THING FROM THE LAKE
"What are you?"
When a scientist, played by Bree Daniels, studies some strange planets in a forest, she comes across a lady of the lake, played by Bella Rolland fucking a man, played by Lucas Frost. Soon, the water creature takes a liking to the scientist. In the end, we learn the true nature of the water creature, and the consequence of her sexual wiles.
At first, this is fine. They set the scene up in a satisfactory way , but then there's just this guy in the middle of the woods, and he gets naked and jerks off. Then there's this woman who walks up and starts fucking him. It's perfectly regular porn sex but the set up was lacking. The creature was never shown walking from the lake. She was never wet.
I wanted this one to be so much weirder. We live in a world where The Shape of Water won the Oscar for Best Film. If you're gonna fuck a fish, then fuck a fish, not a vaguely fish-like human lady. The creature make up is lacking, with gills and fins that look more like scratches and scars. Glow-Up, this ain't. They could have put some green Jell-o powder in her hair or something, and they should have covered her eyebrows. Fish don't need eyebrows. Although, the gills on her jaw were gooey, and that was pretty cool. And she had thingamabobs in her nose. Ariel would be proud.
There needs to be a "Let me show you the dance of my people" scene. These are humans having porn sex. I want to know how merfolk fuck, please.
I can say that I felt the lake lady was doing her best to portray herself as animalistic, and she communicated a lot with just her physicality and facial expressions. Bree Daniels has a soft gentleness to her that is very welcomed for the scene. The man who gets fucked is a non-entity and could have been cut entirely.
But, the episode runs way too long and near the end the camera man forgets how the fuck to do his job. Either that or he has a stroke because the camera begins to wobble and the framing of the scene becomes all fucked up. The image auto-focuses on weird shit so the ladies become blurry. That was the best takes you got? You're going to stick with that? Okay, then.
If you take away the minimal makeup, this is just your standard porno. It's nothing special, and easily forgotten.
Best Moment: I liked the slimy gills.
Worst Moment: When the camera fucked up. Clearly quality was not the end goal here.
Lilith's Score: 2/5
FERTILE
"I can't wait to get you pregnant"
All Bethany and Nathaniel want is a baby of their own. They've tried everything, with no success. In desperation Bethany, played by Alina Lopez, seeks out a sketchy experimental technique helmed by Doctor Angeles…
This tale is the result of someone, somewhere saying they want Angela White to put a baby inside them. Someone else pointed out that didn't make sense then the first person said "fuck you, I'll make it make sense."
I was worried about this one. Pregnancy is one of my squicks, especially mixed with body horror or medical fetishism. Luckily there's nothing too out there for me to handle, though it does get iffy near the end.
Alina Lopez excels in this role. Her pain, frustration and anger are palpable. The way she lashes out at her husband, played by Tommy Pistol, the way things escalate, it's so human. Once more Bree Mills directs very human moments.
There's a slight problem with Tommy Pistol's performance though. He's Tommy Pistol. He has cultivated such an air of niceness, and comes across as such an affable guy that when he yells it's just kind of… cute. He's trying his best though.
Despite her husband's protests, Bethany goes to find a mysterious doctor, played by Angel White in a mostly non-sex role. White is extremely unnerving in this role. Her eyes barely blink, if ever. Maybe she was channeling her inner Hannibal Lecter.
Bethany is then disinfected and deloused, before being subject to all manner of sexual activity, with the doctor helping along the way. As Bethany becomes more and more desperate to have a baby, the doctor's experiments get more and more intense.
Bree Mills often plays with colour and contrast and this film is no exception. While the scenes of marital strife are filmed in a standard way, the medical scenes are filmed in stark pops of unnatural colours until it fully transitions to the lab where everything is unfeeling grey scale.
Also, this film had topless Angela White accompanied by men in gasmasks so that grants it some bonus points.
Fertile is creepy, shockingly real, and has an ambiguous conclusion but there's also a sense of playful humour to it. Out of the four episodes it was probably my favourite.
Best Moment: The performances in general. Alina Lopez and Angela White are great at what they do.
Worst Moment: There's a scene near the end with tubes that made me apprehensive, but it didn't go very far.
Lilith's Score: 3/5
Under the Bed isn't the best thing I've seen, and it isn't the worst. It's not very memorable, shocking or sexy. I'd say it's on par with Her & Him. It's just a selection of directors and writers trying to be clever and see what works.
Here's hoping volume 3 brings something special in the future.
Best Moment: Angela White saying the lines "I can't wait to get you pregnant". The gore effects in Within are good.
Worst Moment:The entire sex scene in The Night They Came for Lacy. It was obnoxious.
LILITH'S SCORE: 2.5/5
Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.
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