Lost Love - Lilith Likes to Watch

Title: Lost Love Year: 2019 Starring: Jessica Drake, Penny Pax, Kira Noir, Small Hands, Ryan Driller Director: Brad Armstrong Synopsis: Beth is blindsided by the death of her husband. Heartbroken and searching for answers, she joins a grief counseling group where she begins to bond with others who are dealing with their own loss. -Via AdultEmpire.com Lilith's Notes: It's nominated for XBIZ Film of The Year

"Miss me already?"

I've never lost a significant other due to death, but I've watched my mother struggle after the death of my father. I've watched one grandparent whither away after the death of their spouse. I've had uncles who die months after the deaths of their wives. I imagine losing the love of your life is one of the most difficult things we can endure. I was hoping to feel some of that desperate loss in this film.

Sets a good mood.

First off, I like how the movie starts just before the funeral. We're never told about how the death occurred and I like that. The circumstances didn't matter, the grief is what is supposed to matter. The title shot has good blocking, good use of negative space. It's strangely lonesome. It sets the mood it wants to set.

After the funeral, Beth imagines having sex with her husband, Eric. It's totally natural that she would do that, but it's very, very porn-y sex. It's full of "Oh yeah, right there," and squeaky sighs and blowjob lips. With each position change, the scene fades to a different shot and it really breaks the flow of the first sex scene.

Next, we see Beth's sister fuck her own husband. Penny Pax looks natural, with slight curves and natural breasts. She looks like a woman from a classical painting. She and her husband engage in actual condom prep. The editor clearly enjoyed this scene more. There's a better flow to it. Also Penny Pax comes across a fucking insatiable, and that's fun.

Beth walks around the city, ruminating on death and grief and in between shots her outfit changes from a blouse and skirt and high socks, to a sweater and pants, then back. At this point I'm convinced the editor either hates Beth or hates their job.

She lays on the floor next to one of her husbands suits and masturbates. Of all the marketing for this film, this is the idea that sold me. It is by far the best part of the film.

This is what we're all really here for. It's even on the movie poster.

Throughout the film, Beth's sister has been acting a little odd, a little standoffish and maybe too deep in grief. It lead me to think that maybe she and Eric had an affair. Anyway, Beth shares a moment in the cemetery with her sister, then they play Carpool Karaoke and hold hands.

Sister on sister bondage.

Beth goes to a grief meeting but doesn't speak her story because she isn't ready yet to share. She meets a woman who's character name I don't know but she's played by Jessie Lee so that's her name now. They go to a bar and are ignored by the waitress, then go to a junk yard. Jessie Lee tells Beth that this is her car and she was in a terrible accident and that she should seize every moment. They fuck.

It's possibly the most boring woman-on-woman sex scene I've seen in a while. Again, probably because it's so blatantly porny and devoid of emotion. Jessie Lee seems to be enjoying herself, so that's something to cling to.

Speaking of enjoying herself, Kira Noir is in this movie. She's part of the grief group and she goes into a bathroom to fuck another guy from the group. Once more she looks like she's having a genuinely good time. However, it grinds the movie to a halt. But a fun halt.

This scene basically writes itself.

Finally, Beth goes back to the cemetery and masturbates on the grave, begging to come. The scene is short and I wanted more. At the cemetery she meets a guy and brings him home. She makes him wear her husband's suit and they fuck while she's blindfolded with his tie. It's a hot idea, which I liked. Through this, in a way, Beth's journey with grief comes to an end and she finds closure. She attends the grief meeting one final time and comes to profound realizations.

SOMEone's read 50 Shades of Grey...

Realizations that break the movie and made me drop it an entire grade.

This movie's biggest downfall is the acting. The lead role of Beth should have been played by someone who is more real. I know Jessica Drake is very popular but I feel Penny Pax is more believable and emotes better. I think she would have been able to connect with the audience's mind more, and then Jessica be the aloof, quazi-mysterious sister character. What I wanted, nay, expected out of this movie is that one masturbation scene from Abigail Lesley is Back in Town, but for two and a half hours. I wanted all that raw emotion. I never thought I'd compare anything to Abigail Lesley, which I rated 1.5 out of 5, but here we are.

I wanted Georgina Spelvin, I wanted Rebecca Brooke, I wanted Annette Haven. I wanted to feel something and I just couldn't. This was as shallow as a dollar store sympathy card. I have no doubt that the creators meant for this movie to be taken seriously, that they thought they were saying something, or trading on a universal theme almost all of us can relate to, but when there was supposed to be real, genuine emotion, it was just lacking. I've seen good acting in porn before, or genuine connection between the performers. I know it's possible, I just didn't feel it here.

Too much sex, not enough love.

Best Moment: The love scene with the suit. That sort of scene is my everything

Worst Moment: The final time she attends the grief support meeting. Things come into focus and it's really bad.

LILITH'S SCORE: 2/5

NEXT TIME: We keep on going with our XBIZ and AVN award nominee viewing with Captain Marvel XXX.