"Hold her down, I need her ass."
Fun fact: Lilith Likes to Watch is a year old. Want another fun fact? It's been 367 days since we've reviewed the first of a few Alice in Wonderland porno adaptations. Maybe this will become tradition. Regardless, if you feel like you've been down this rabbit hole before, now you know why.
Malice in Lalaland is.an OK porno with a fun look and an amazing title. There's too much filler, with Malice just sitting in watching some scenes, or scenes where none of the traditional Lewis Carroll characters are around and I'm just watching people fuck.
It opens with a creative credit sequence and a fun musical score plays throughout the movie that I quite dug.
Malice is an inmate at an asylum. Why? We don't know. How long has she been there? We're never told. She breaks out and is lead to Lalaland by Donnie Darko's rabbit friend if the rabbit were a pothead.
After admonishing Jabbowski for losing Malice, Queenie enters a morgue to fuck a pair of latex chap-wearing mice-boys and another women and it feels like a scene out of a different porno. Unless they're all supposed to be the doormouse?
Despite that, there are creative hints of Alice In Wonderland without being overt, and that's nice. Jack Jabbowki, Dr. Queenie, Chester Katz, Katter Pills. These references are just on the right side of cute. They could so easily be cheesy but I like them.
This is my favourite shot in the entire film:
|Chester Katz takes a picture of two little fuckbunnies.|
Throughout the film, Sasha Grey has a sort of girlishness, which is nice. This could so easily turn bitchy, and it doesn't. Malice cares about Rabbit, and Chester, and shares her body with others, men and women alike. For all the spiteful meaning behind the name Malice, this Malice has a sweet innocence to her.
She meets Chester Katz, wears a Alice in Wonderland Halloween costume, and poses for pictures for him, then they fuck. It is the second best scene in the movie. Then, she goes with Chester to Katter Pill's club and, in a total non-euphemism, eats his mushroom. They watch two strippers dance and fuck while Malice trips out.
Then she explores more of Pill's place. Malice just walks from one scene to the next. I want more story. WHY was she in the asylum?
Oh right, and the Mad Hatter looks like Slash from Guns n' Roses. It's either brilliant or fucking distracting. I'm not sure which. It doesn't really matter, he has like 2 lines of dialogue anyway.
The best scene in the entire film is Malice fucking two other girls. I actually had a small quibble with the dialog here though. Girl 1 explicitly says Girl 2 prefers to watch, then Girl 2 immediately joins in. So out of character for Girl 2! Not that I'm really complaining. The scene was damn hot. Even though, Girl 1 started off wearing a beautiful masquerade mask and took it off right away. C'mon, that's my aesthetic!
One of the big problems with the film, however, is that it is told out of order. Malice comes across a gas-station/diner, then watches two people fuck in a car. Then she leaves. She returns to another diner/gas-station, and films a woman fuck the Tweedles in a scene I absolutely could have done without. But what they should have done was either cut the car scene and put the Tweedle Threesome in it's place, or cut the car scene, kept the Tweedle scene where it was, then had an extended Queenie/Malice scene because...
THE WAY THIS MOVIE ENDS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!
Jabbrowski corners Malice in the diner, Queenie comes in, they shoot Malice up with a drunk and Malice fantasizes Queenie as a red devil and herself a dark angel. They kiss, turn into cartoons and then it ends.
|What's the girl equivalent to blue balls?|
Fuck that! You wasted your run time on a Tweedle DP Threesome, a strangely violent Chester/girl/girl scene, and two bumpkins fucking in a car and not have Queenie take Malice back to the asylum with sexy results?
You're wrong, movie.
You fucked up.
You know your potential. I know you know your potential. I know you enjoy the art that you're making so why didn't you go for broke?
In conclusion, this movie's story is out of order and spends it time on unimportant drivel instead of cool shit. Its rife with kick-ass concepts that it abandons in favour of cheesy porn that I could get anywhere else if I so chose.
Best Scene: Malice fucking the two girls in the red room.
Worst Scene: Tweedles DPing some woman in a diner for like 5 minutes.
LILITH'S SCORE: 3/5
NEXT TIME: We return to Lilith's Halloween Trick & Treat! We begin with We Are The Flesh.