Zandalee - Lilith Likes to Watch Famous February

Title: Zandalee
Starring: Erika Anderson, Nicolas Cage, Judge Reinhold
Director: Sam Pillsbury
Synopsis: Bored with her marriage to burnt out poet turned corporate executive Thierry, Zandalee falls prey to an old friend of her husband, the manipulative and egotistical Johhny and becomes enmeshed in a sensual, passionate and destructive affair. - Via
Lilith's Notes: Steve Bucemi is here too. He is the best character.

"Black it out."

Yeah, I know. I also have no idea how, on this porn and erotica review site, I ended up writing a review for a Nic Cage and Judge Reinhold movie, but here we are.

Zandalee is the story of a woman named Zandalee (played by Erika Anderson) who is unhappily married to Thierry (Played by Judge Reinhold) a rich southern boy. She is physically and emotionally unfulfilled and lives out a life of doldrums.

To alleviate her boredom, she goes out clubbing with a friend, gets innocently frisky with another person, then goes home drunk to the disgust of her husband.

Zandalee can't be blamed for her actions. She is a victim of circumstance. She's hot, she's horny, and due to the stresses brought on by grief, disillusionment and this work a day world, her husband has the sex drive of a lump of clay.

Really, this movie is a tragedy. This beautiful woman wants to be dicked down and someone really should be dicking her down like she deserves.

Enter Johnny (Played by Nicolas Cage), an eccentric painter and old friend of Thierry, who, with all the charisma of a crushed beer can abandoned in a street gutter, sweeps Zandalee into an exotic adventure of lurid, animalistic sex.

Thus commences an affair in which nobody ends up looking good; Zandalee is the married one, Johnny is 65 percent grease, 30 percent toxic substances and 5 percent paint. Meanwhile Judge Rienhold is "ah do declare!"ing all over the place so badly I thought it was a joke.

As with any Nic Cage film, you're never quite sure what you're gonna get. Lucky for us this performance had a relatively crazy Cage, but I feel it could have gone farther. Then again, I think my Cageomiter is broken because I thought he could have gone farther in Mandy. That's right, motherfucking Mandy.

Anyway, it's no wonder Johnny wants Zan, she is beautiful. I don't know if it's the character of Zandalee or just the actress herself, but there's something Tinto Brassian about the woman. The way she wears clothes, the way she moves, she reminds me of several Tinto Brass heroines.

While this isn’t rage-inducing boring, it’s boring in a very peculiar way. This movie has boat chases, wise garbagemen, Nicolas Cage and Judge Reinhold waltzing together on a pier, and it’s still boring. It’s not very hot, and there’s absolutely no one to root for. Everyone is a horrible person and no one deserves sympathy for the beds they made. Everyone thinks they’re right, but they’re all so very, very wrong.

Is it hot? A little, not really. Like I said, Anderson is beautiful and she handles herself well but when you have to choose between Johnny and Thierry for your options, well, maybe a little self care would be preferable. This isn’t even funny bad. It’s just awkward and more than a little embarrassing, really.

Best Moment: There was a scene where Zandalee was trying to seduce her husband by masturbating. She had tears in her eyes and she breaks down when he rebuffs her.

Worst Moment: Reinhold - both as an actor and character. I’m not sure what Reinhold or the director was trying to do with this character. It might have been better overall Johnny was trying to seduce Zandalee and bring her into some sort of rebellious lifestyle.


Until next time, my voracious voyeurs. I’m Lilith, and I’m always watching.

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